Holy Canolli!! I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I have updated this!! It's been a crazy month too, so I apologize. This is a short update, just bridging it to the future when the fun begins. Thank you guys so much for the continued support and I hope to have this back up to a regular update schedule once again. *I hope*. =P
There was no time to react before his fist connected with the side of my nose. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to expect as I arrived for the morning skate, but I didn’t think he would actually punch me. “You have a lot of balls walking in here!” I grabbed the nearest towel and shoved it to my nose, to try and stop the bleeding.
“Did you fucking forget I’m on this team too?” I snapped back at him.
“I love her Laich!”
“Well she’s gone now.” As the words leave my mouth I can sense the whole locker room freeze, all eyes on me.
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Mike asked, his fists clenching at his sides. My right eye twitches just at the sight. I don’t think I could handle another punch to the face from him. I’m acting like his first punch didn’t bother me, but my whole face is throbbing and the quicker I can get this confrontation over, the quicker I can soak my whole head in the ice tub.
“She went to Arizona.”
“Arizona? What the fuck is in Arizona?” I look at him with shocked washed over my face.
“You love her?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t fucking love her. If you loved her you would know that her parents live in Arizona. Fuck Mike do you know anything about her other than her body?”
“Yeah, of course I do!” He snaps, taking a step closer to me, his fist still clenched. It seems as though the locker room has split down the middle. Half of them behind Mike while the other half are standing behind me.
“Where do her siblings live then?”
He scoffs at me, his arms relaxing. He looks over his shoulder, then around the room. “What siblings?”
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I growl as I step past him and toward the trainer’s room to have my nose looked at.
What the hell did he think he was doing? Most of all, who the hell does he think he is? I asked him to do me a favor. Help my best friend out in a situation I couldn’t help with myself. I didn’t ask him to fall in love with her. If anything, I had asked him not to fall in love with her. It was clear as day to everyone in the locker room that I’m in love with her. I just never had the balls to do anything about it.
Even as my nose is being put back into place by our trainer, all I can think about is what’s going through her mind at thirty thousand feet. Did she hate me? Could she tell I was lying as I told her I wasn’t in love with her? I wanted to give her time to think, and be on her own, but then again, I wanted her back, and I wanted her with me. Not him. I had to win her back. I had to do something to prove to her that I’ve been in love with her for as long as I can remember, that I’m sick of staying on the sidelines watching her date asshole after asshole. I needed to be her knight in shining armor, even if it may be scuffed up.
My nose was broken, and out of place, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t feel a damn thing. I was numb. I stepped into my home, and the quietness was overwhelming. This wasn’t a home anymore. It was nothing more than just a house now. No dog, no nothing. Just myself, back to the way things used to be. I hated that though. I guess this is what I deserved though, to live in a house that was just as empty as I was.
Time flies when you’re having fun. Unfortunately for me, the past four months felt like ten years. Some of the older guys on the team would tell me time heals all, how much longer do I have to wait though? Mike has moved on, our friendship somewhat salvaged, but I can’t let go. I refuse to let go. Every phone call has gone unanswered, every letter returned. How much longer do I have to wait just to simply hear her voice again?
The only thing that keeps me going is the movements. Hockey, sleep, food, hockey. I don’t go out, I don’t socialize, I just do my job. The light bulb hanging above my life was dimming rather quickly. It was going to go out soon. What happens then? Was I going to have anything to live for anymore?
It’s just past noon, after yet another grueling practice, and I’m sitting on my couch, with a glass of bourbon. We were in the midst of yet another long playoff run, and I did what I had to do. Did I want to win the cup? Of course I did, but whom was I going to celebrate it with? Hugging your parents and thanking them for long hours in the rink is standard. They can only fill so much in your heart, the other part, the empty one, was reserved for her. So again, did I want to win the cup? Not without her.
I almost put myself in an emotionally exhausted coma on the couch. My bourbon had gone warm and watered down, and my eyes were watering from starring at the TV. This is what my life had come to.
Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
I throw my glass at the wall next to me when I hear the song fill the room. Someone was playing an evil trick on me. I bite my bottom lip to will myself from crying. That was our song. She’s my everything; she’s my saving grace. I get up from the couch and try and locate the source of where the music was playing. I glance down at my cellphone to see the screen illuminated.
NIKO
I stare at it. Disbelief. Hope. Uneasiness. I pick it up and flip it open, continuing to stare at the numbers that begin to tick away. :01 . . . :04 . . . :07. Seven seconds doesn’t seem that long, but it felt like seven minutes to me.
“Hello?” I choke back, not fully trusting the words to leave my mouth.
“Hi Brooks,” there’s no emotion in her voice, well if there is I can’t pick up on it. She was always good at hiding her feelings, but I could usually pin point them out. Now, four months with no contact, I’ve lost my touch.
“How . . . how are you?”
“I’m doing okay. How are you?”
Do I lie again? Do I tell her the God-awful truth? “It’s going.”
I hear a few sniffles come from her and within moments they turned to sobs. “I miss you Brooks. I miss you so much.” I bite my lower lip again trying to keep myself composed. “Do you miss me?”
“That’s a stupid question Niko.”
“It’s legitimate though.”
“Well, I found out the hard way . . ..” The words are on the tip of my tongue, but just thinking about them coming out has me crying. I’m in hysterics. She absolutely has no idea what she does to me. No idea at all. “I found out the hard way, I can’t live without you.”
