7: Congratulations, But That's Fucked Up

It wasn't until the door swung open that I realized what had just happened. "Hey, you okay?" Brooks asked and I slowly turned my head to look at him. Tears rolling down my cheeks freely. I shook my head from side to side and instantly his arms were wrapped around me. "What happened? What did he do?"

I didn't know what to say to Brooks, because I knew once I told him he'd be running down the hall to hunt him down. I just wanted to hold on to him. "He kissed me," I finally choked out and loosened my grip around him, expecting him to leave, but he didn't. He just stepped closer, and held me tighter.

"Hey Veronica, it's your turn. Hey everything okay?" I heard Mike ask from behind me. I composed myself long enough to pull away from Brooks.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I mumbled before leaving the two boys in the hallway and headed back into the hotel room.

It when then that it came to me, what I wanted tattooed on me for the rest of my life. I sat down in front of the tattoo artist and held out my left wrist. "What can I do for you darling?" He asked with a thick British accent causing me to smile.

"A Victorianesque heart with the roman numeral 'twenty-one' blended in to it somewhere. I trust you, you're a professional, you have free reign."

"I think I like you," he laughed as he sterilized the area around me and prepared his needle and ink.

As the needle dragged along my skin, I couldn't feel it. I actually couldn't feel anything now that I was thinking about it. I was numb again. I was back in that state of mind where Steve had to come in and fuck everything up. Someone grabbed my free hand and I looked over and smiled at Mike. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be," I smiled over at him and he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "I like you. You're a good guy."

The corner of his mouth curled up and his eyes squinted, "I like you too."






I stood in the bathroom, getting ready for the cocktail party that the family held every year. I picked up a new black dress the week before, knowing I had a new set of eyes that I wanted to impress. I finished with my makeup and glanced down at my new tattoo quickly. You could barely tell the '21' was in there, but I knew it was. Brooks was the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life, and I knew with this tattoo that he would always be with me. Be that strong support that I would need in my life. If I ever met a man that disagreed with this, then he just wouldn't be right for me. With me comes Brooks as well. I smiled inwardly and left the bathroom and met the boys in the kitchen.

"Wow."

"Damn girl."

I blushed as I took in their appearances, both looking great in suits. Brooks kept it summery in a linen khaki suit with a white shirt, left unbutton. Mike on the other hand was looking very James Bondish in a black suit, white shirt and black tie. He even had the aviator sunglasses resting on top of his head.

"Wow boys, I feel like the luckiest girl at the prom," I smiled soaking each of them in.

"Ready Niko?" Brooks asked as I linked my right arm through his left, and then my left arm through Mike's right.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I smiled and we left the room.

Upon arriving in the banquet room I couldn't believe we had assigned seats. Sure there were forty or fifty of us, but was a seating chart necessary? I picked my name up off the table and read 'Table C' I looked at Mike, he had the same, but Brooks was holding 'Table B'. I looked at him with sad eyes but he kissed me on the cheek and we wandered through the room and found our tables. Luckily Brooks was right behind me at his table, unfortunately Steve and Ashley were directly across from me at the same table.

I felt Steve's eyes raking over my body and I tensed up, feeling the room close in around me. Mike picked up on my uneasiness and placed a finger under my chin, pulling my lips up to his awaiting ones. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes, momentarily glancing over at Steve. "I love you."

Whaaa-?

Acting, right. I opened my mouth to say it back, but he kissed me instead. I felt my cheeks catch fire, and covered my stupid grin with my hand. I looked around the room to see Ashley looking at us with admiration in her eyes, Steve on the other hand. He looked like he could kill Mike. Asshole.

Conversation was flowing easy with everyone at our table, and at one point, I reached behind me and grabbed Brooks' chair, dragging it to our table. "Everything alright?" He asked whispering in my ear.

"Yeah, so far anyways. He keeps looking at Mike like he wants to kill him though."

"And that's the whole point why we brought Mike remember? Make him jealous, make him realize he's an ass."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Let me see your tattoo," he smiled grabbing my hand and flipping it over, resting my hand on his thigh. He bent over to look at it closely. "Is that . . . is that the number '21'?" He asked bringing his head up and looking me in the eyes.

"Yeah. I didn't think anyone would be able to see it."

"Why . . . why did you do that?"

"You're my back bone Brooks, and when you're all the way on the east coast I'll always have you now."

He reached his arms around me and hugged me. No words needed to be said, that’s just how I wanted things. We got each other, no questions asked.

I heard the clinking of a spoon to a glass and pulled away from Brooks to see Steve standing at the table, grabbing everyones attention. I wanted to roll my eyes, dramatically, but kept my composure, feeling Mike’s fingers lace through mine.

“I wanted to welcome everyone to the Jaharus/Laich family reunion. On behalf of my family and myself, I wanted to thank everyone for taking out time in their busy schedules to come here and celebrate what an amazing family this is.”

Everyone erupted into a small round of golf claps, and I slapped my hand on my thigh once or twice, not really feeling the spirit Steve was trying to project to the family.

“One thing that is so beautiful about this family is the acceptance of others we bring into our circle. I wanted to thank you all for welcoming Ashley to this family like she was one of our own. And now there is nothing I want more than to make her officially one of our own.” I felt my heart stop beating and my breath catch in my chest as Steve reached into his pocket. In agonizingly slow motion, he went down on one knee. Much like he did with me some three years before.

I lost all of my senses except for my vision. All I could see was Steve’s mouth moving, a sparking diamond ring in his hand, and then Ashley jumping up with her hands covering her mouth nodding her head. I closed my eyes numerous times, thinking for sure that this was all a dream. A sick, sad dream. Or at least a prank that someone was playing on me. No way in his right mind would he propose to his girlfriend mere hours after kissing me. No way, right?

“Niko! Veronica!” The voices of Mike and Brooks in my ear were what brought me back to reality. This really was happening. He really just did that.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” I state as I stand up from my seat, and slowly make my way out of the banquet hall. It was when I heard the click of the door behind me that I pulled off my heels and ran down the hall. I didn’t know where I was going, all I knew was that I had to get far away from what just happened. I ran into the lobby, numerous guests looking at me with frightened eyes. I slowed myself down and looked out the back windows to the dock floating on the lake. I opened the back doors and made my way outside, not even realizing the heavy downpour and the thunder and lightning off in the distance. After I made it down the first flight of stairs, I gave up. I sat down on the wood planked walkway and broke down in tears.

“Veronica!” I could hear Brooks yelling from the door I had just walked out from. Moments later, two warm arms wrapped around me, pulling me in to their warm chest. I grabbed onto his water soaked linen blazer and cried in to his chest.

“Why did he do that? Why is he such an asshole?”

“I don’t know Niko, I don’t know. Let’s get you inside though okay? There’s a big thunderstorm on it’s way.”

“I can’t move. I don’t want to move. Just leave me here.”   

“You’re going to catch a cold or worse get struck by lightning.”

“I don’t fucking care anymore Brooks. Those options sound fantastic to me right now.”

He sighed obviously frustrated but just held me closer. “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything you need?”

“Tequila. Seriously Brooks, I’m not joking right now. I need my boys, a bottle of tequila and a good movie. I need to forget this shit, right now.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll go see what I can find.” The minute his arms were unwrapped from me, a new set of warm arms found their way around my body.

“Look at me,” Mike whispered and I brought my head up to look into his eyes, tears falling quickly down on to his hand that rested beneath my chin. “That guy in there is a complete asshole, and you do not deserve to be put through what he puts you through. You are an amazing woman and it’s a damn shame that he doesn’t see that, because everyone else around you can. Please don’t, do not, wish you were that girl right now. You would be miserable.” I nodded my head, digging my face into his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"He just told me a few hours ago that he still loves me! That he wishes things were different!" I shouted, suddenly pulling away from Mike. "Fuck him, he's a fucking asshole and I feel sorry for his girlfriend."

"Come on, let's get you inside," Mike stood up and offered me his hand. I reluctantly placed my hand in his and we made our way back to our room.

6: A Slap To The Face

Friday morning I woke up with the body pillow that was separating Brooks and I on the ground. His butt was pressed up against my hip, and when I went to roll onto my side I nearly fell off the bed. He once again managed to take up the whole bed. I put my hand on his back and pushed him away from me, giving me some room to stretch out and maybe get a few more minutes of shut eye.

“UGH!” He groaned, rolling onto his stomach to give me a few inches to work with. I glanced at the clock quickly to see it was just past 7 AM. I hated that I could never sleep in, the only way I could is if I had been drinking the night before. Just as I closed my eyes, I felt his arm fall over my waist. I grabbed on to the comforter that had fallen off of me at some point and brought it up around my neck and fell back asleep.

When I woke up again, Brooks was spooning me, with his arm tightly wrapped around my waist. I found comfort in the position I was in, but knew that we needed to get up, it was after 9 AM. I slipped out from his grip and grabbed my bathroom bag before leaving our room and headed to the bathroom. After combing my hair and brushing my teeth I headed out to the common area of our hotel room just as Mike was walking out of the kitchen in just his boxers with a platter of breakfast goodness. A thought quickly crossed my mind that he should be the one on the platter, not the bagels and muffins.

"Morning," he smiled as he set the platter down on the table and sat down next to me, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. "Brooks still sleeping?"

"Yeah, hogging the bed as usual."

"You know, you can sleep with me, I don't hog."

I rolled the offer around in my head, knowing that if I took him up on it, there was no way I would keep my hands to myself. "No, that's alright, thanks for the offer though." I grabbed a muffin and began to pull it apart as we sat on the couch in silence. I knew that we had to start getting ready soon, as the tattoo artist would be coming around 11 or so. "I'm gonna go wake him up," I smiled as I went to get up from the couch, but Mike's hand on my arm stopped me. I turned to look at him, and he kissed we sweetly on the lips before letting me go. "Today we act girlfriend," he laughed as he got up as well and headed for his room.

I snuck my way back in to the room to see Brooks laying on his back with his arms and legs sprawled out everywhere. I shut the door behind me and climbed on the bed and over him, straddling his lap. I grabbed his hands and held them above his head with one hand. With my free hand I began my assault on his most ticklish areas, right around his nipples. He squirmed at first before waking up fully, and easily flopped me over on to my back, with him laying on top of me. "Now why can't I wake up like this every morning?" He asked with a sly smile before crawling off of me and pulling basketball shorts on over his boxers.

"Time to get ready and face the family Brooksie."

"Don't call me that." I laughed as I walked out of the room and frowned upon seeing Mike fully dressed.

"Did you wake him up?"

"Yup, are you mentally prepared for this family?"

"As best as I can be."





Dressed in my favorite yellow summer dress, Brooks, Mike and myself headed down to the beach where the family was gathering. My eyes immediately landed on Steve with his arm draped around a blond girl. Mike laced his fingers with mine and I smiled at him. I had no doubt in my mind that we wouldn't convince these people that we were together, we just looked at each other with lust in our eyes. Or at least I was looking at him lustfully. I wanted to pounce him earlier in his lime green boxers.

"Veronica!" I looked over my shoulder to see Kelly making her way toward me. She looked down at my hand linked with Mike's quickly before engulfing me in a hug. "It's so good to see you dear." We broke the hug and Mike reclaimed his spot in my hand.

"It's good to see you too. How are you?"

"I'm doing good. So, um, who is this?" She asked laughing and I turned and smiled at Mike.

"This is Mike, my boyfriend. Mike this is Kelly. She's Brooks' aunt, sister of his mom," I explained and he nodded his head before offering his hand toward her. She pushed it away and pulled him in to a hug as well. That was just how Kelly was. She didn't care who you are, but if you were apart of this family somehow, you get a hug.

After she walked away to greet more people I mumbled to Mike that that was Steve's mom.

"And you're that friendly with her?"

"Well yeah, she became a second mom to me. It's amazing, when I left Steve she was on my side. She helped me out a lot."

"Speaking of the devil here he comes, quick kiss." He leaned down and pecked me on the lips quickly and I looked up just in time to see Steve standing in front of us with his blond.

"Veronica."

"Hi Steve, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Mike-"

"Mike Green. I know who he is. You didn't tell me you were dating a hockey player."

"I'm not dating a hockey player, I'm dating Mike. He just happens to play hockey," I snapped a little too sharply remembering a comment he made toward me once about being a puck bunny. I forced a smile on my face and smiled at the blond. "Hi, I'm Veronica."

"Ashley, it's nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you from Steve's family."

"Oh good things I hope. I know how those boys are, always twisting things," I laughed which got her to laugh as well.

"Babe, I think Brooks is looking for us," Mike announced.

"You hate being called babe," Steve laughed and it took everything in me to not shout out that it was actually him I hate. He was right though, I hated being called babe or baby, but I allowed it to slide.

Mike and I made our way toward Brooks, and Mike was instantly snatched up by Brooks' mom, Jane. I turned back around to see an all too familiar face in front of me. "Jordan!" I shrieked as I jumped in to the arms of Brooks' younger brother.

"Hey Niko, how are you?"

"I'm doing really well actually, better than I thought I would be here. So how are you?"

"Kind of shocked to see you with Greener, actually, I always though you'd end up wi-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"Um, yeah sure, okay."

"Where's Jodi?" I asked of their older sister.

"She won't be here till tomorrow. She's been asking too you know."

"Stop."





Mike looked at me with wide eyes as we made our way in to the hotel to meet the tattoo artist. "This family loves you. Like no joke, they are in love with you," he laughed, sliding his hand in to mine.

"Can you understand why this whole thing with Steve has been so hard now? Because I love this family just as much."

"Yeah, I can now. Well let's go get some ink."

A few of us gathered in our hotel room, and Mike was the first to go under the needle. He was getting a sailor inspired number '52' on his back. I laughed at his originality, but still didn't know what I wanted to get.

I was sitting on the kitchen counter talking with Jordan when Steve walked in to the room. "Hey, Veronica, can I talk to you?" Brooks shot me that knowing look. That look that told me whatever Steve had to say was probably just a bunch of B.S. and to not fall in his trap. I hopped off the counter and followed Steve out in to the hallway.

"I'm happy you came."

"You knew I was coming though. I never backed out of coming."

"I know. Look, I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm still in love with you and I wish things were different." I looked down at my feet and thought of Brooks and how he would slap me across the face at this point.  When I looked back up Steve was closer to me than I remembered. With a blink of the eyes, his lips were on mine and I froze in place. He pulled away a moment later and looked me in the eye. "Oh how I wish things were different."

5: Hitting The Road

With each day that past by, I could feel the weight on my shoulders slowly lift away. The sun was brighter, flowers were more vibrant and most of all, I was smiling. Really smiling.

Mike and I had ironed out our “story” to make it more believable. I knew Steve could see straight through me, so I had to put on my best Oscar-winning performance. We figured sharing short, sweet kisses in front of the family would be the best course of action. Well I guess I should say he figured that would be best. Thinking about his lips on mine, I easily agreed.

The family reunion was going to be at a waterfront resort just south of Kelowna in British Columbia on Lake Okanagan. There were so many different things planned for the weekend, that I wasn’t stressing out about being in the same building as Steve anymore. If he was doing one thing, I would just simply go do something else. Easy philosophy. Mike and I convinced Brooks to hire a tattoo artist to come to the resort one day so we could all get tattoos. Brooks won’t let a needle touch him, but Mike and I were excited and would discuss ideas to one another via emails.

I left work at noon and began my trek down to SeaTac airport to pick up Mike and Brooks. Brooks thought it would be fun to drive to Kelowna, because it had been a long time since he’s been on a roadtrip, and six hours on the road sounded like fun. I didn’t mind at all, it actually did sound like it would be a fun time. Mike had emailed us telling us he would bring MadLibs.

I got to the airport around 12:45 that afternoon and walked in to see Mike sitting in baggage claim waiting for me. I walked up to him and kicked his shoe to take his attention away from his iPod. He instantly stood up and wrapped his arms around me. “Hi girlfriend,” he smiled as he kept a grip on me, but pulled away to look in my eyes.

“Hi boyfriend,” I blushed just as he leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips. I inhaled deeply, desperately wanting to deepen it, but knew not to considering our surroundings.

“What time does Brooks get in?” He asked dropping small kisses along my jaw line. Wait. Where am I?

“Uh, 1:30.”

“Wanna grab some coffee then?” He pulled away and I nodded my head. He grabbed my hand, and then pulled his suitcase behind him with his other hand. I walked slightly behind him, making it look like he was dragging two things behind him. What the hell was going on?   

We sat down at a Tully’s on the main level of the airport and sipped on our coffees. I was bouncing my leg nervously, well mainly excited to see Brooks and hit the road. Mike’s hand landed on my bare knee and he laughed. I stopped moving my leg and looked over at him. “Nervous?”

“Excited.”

“Really? I just thought, with this being his family and all you would be nervous.”

“Well yeah maybe, but I always get excited when I see Brooks.”

“You know, I have no idea how you guys met. So how did it happen?”

“I was in a sporting goods store with my brother at the end of my junior year of high school. I see this guy in the hockey section, which is tiny mind you, with this mo-hawk. So I ventured over there, intrigued, and picked up what I guess was a four hundred-dollar stick. He kind of yelled at me to be careful with it, and we just started talking. I admitted I didn’t know much about hockey, and it was his mo-hawk that pulled me in.”

“Wait, let me get this straight . . . Brooks had a mo-hawk?”

“Yeah, it was green.”

“Oh wow!” Mike laughed and we fell into a comfortable silence. I was checking my phone every few minutes, waiting until it said 1:30. Mike scooted his chair next to mine and threw his arm over my shoulders. “You’re pretty impatient there, miss.”

When I turned my head to look at him, he was looking at my lips. “Why are you kissing me?”

“Because I like to. All I’ve thought about since Brooks’ birthday was kissing you.”

“Why though?” I asked. his eyes fluttering back to my lips.

“Because I like you,” he smiled as he leaned forward and kissed me again. I was still so confused though. Was this still acting or was this real? Just as I felt his tongue drag along my bottom lip my phone rang. I pulled away and snatched it up quickly. “Hello?”

“I’m here!” Brooks sung rather loudly.

“We’ll meet you in baggage claim.” I hung up my phone and laced my fingers with Mike’s as I was now the one dragging him behind me.

We stood in baggage claim, just in front of the escalators, and I squeezed the hell out of Mike's hand when I saw his feet, then legs, then upper body appear. I let go of Mike's hand when he saw us and smiled. I allowed him to move out of the way of people behind him on the escalator before jumping on him. "I missed you," I mumbled as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I missed you too. Are you excited?" I crawled off his body and nodded my head like a little girl.

"Well then, after I grab my bag we can hit the road."





"Cell phones, please," Brooks smiled from next to me in my car. This was something I was use to from him. Since this was considered a 'vacation' and not a 'visit' no cell phones were allowed. I grabbed my phone from between my legs and handed it over to him. Mike handed him his cell phone from the back and with one fluid motion, Brooks' window was down and our cell phones went flying out on to Interstate 5 all while going seventy miles per hour. "WHAT THE HELL?!" I yelled as I nearly crashed my car looking over my shoulder just in time to see three black phones explode upon hitting the asphalt.

"What is wrong with you?" I yelled at Brooks who wouldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

"I've always wanted to do that." I looked in the rearview mirror at Mike, his mouth hung open in shock.

"Why though? What if we need to call someone?"

"Because last time we were on vacation you stole your phone out of my bag. No technology this weekend, we are going to enjoy each other's company. Why do you think the stress level of America has skyrocketed since the cell phone was invented? No one can fully relax when they have one. Anyways, if we need to call someone there are payphones you know. I have a lot of change with me."

"I can't believe you. I can't believe you did that."

After an hour had past on the road, Brooks attempted to start a conversation but I wanted nothing to do with it, I was still fuming from my shattered cell phone sixty miles back.

"I'm hungry," Mike muttered from the back seat. It was at that moment that my stomach grumbled and I realized I had nothing to eat so far in the day. I pulled off at the next off ramp and there were three gas stations, a Denny's and another diner across the street from it. That was it. "Which one guys?" They both looked at Denny's and then pointed to the other diner.

"Babe, stop, listen to me. I'm sorry okay? You know I'll get you a new one as soon as we are back in Seattle. Don't be mad. Trust me, you'll enjoy yourself a lot more now that you don't have a phone," Brooks attempted to smile when we got out of my car and made our way to the front door. I stopped walking and motioned for Mike to go in.

"You didn't have to throw it out the window though."

"Yeah I did, otherwise you would find it anyways. Look if you're that mad about it, we'll stop at the next T-Mobile store and get you a new one, okay?" He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in to him.

"No, it's fine. I just can't believe you did that. That was so out of character for you." I dug my face in to his chest and breathed in his scent. Immediately feeling relaxed and once again excited for the weekend.

"So one more thing, what's up with you and Mike?" I pulled away from his chest to look up in to his eyes.

"He's my boyfriend, remember? This was you're idea."

"But you were holding hands at the airport."

"Practice makes perfect," I laughed as I leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek before releasing myself from his body and headed in to the diner.





Once we were in Canada it was really sinking in. I was almost panicky thinking about it. Why the hell was I going to Steve's family reunion again? Oh right, Brooks invited me. I looked over at him now in the driver's seat and he was humming along to the music with just enough of a smile to see a hint of his dimples. My eyes rolled over his shaved head, probably the best thing he's ever done with his hair, and I smiled just as he glanced over at me. "What?" He asked laughing.

"Nothing. I was just checking you out," I laughed and glanced over my shoulder to see Mike fast asleep, laying down on the back seat.

"How come the only time you check me out is when I can't give you my full attention? Why can't you check me out when I come out of the shower or something?"

"I've seen that body of yours, it's nothing to drool over."

"Well it's a hell of a lot better than softy in the back seat." I began to laugh again and glanced back at Mike once again. He still has his baby fat, but he's only 23, he still has plenty of time to firm up.

"Do you like him?" Brooks asked, instantly getting serious.

"I don't know. He's a lot of fun. He's a lot different from you though, that's something I have to get use to." A smiled appeared on Brooks' face, one I don't think I have ever seen before. It was a mixture of pride and something else, I just wouldn't put my finger on it. I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what I said that would make him smile like that. He wouldn't look at me though, he kept his eyes trained on the road, and that smile on his face.

4: Reassurance

Data entry. The two words I hate the most in my vocabulary. Having taken off four days instead of just two, I had a lot of catching up to do at work. I scooted away from my computer to rub my aching hand and look at the still very large pile of papers in front of me. Data entry, I hate it. My mind kept wandering back to that kiss I shared with Mike though. I'd been doing data entry for so long, I could do it without even thinking about it. Giving me more than enough time to think about the way Mike made me feel when his mouth attacked mine. It felt so real, but it was meant to be fake.

I glanced down at my keyboard to see my phone illuminated and the name Kelly scrawled out over the screen. Why was Steve’s mom calling me? I picked it up and excused myself from the front desk and answered the phone.

“Veronica, Aaron was in a car accident. He’s in Seattle visiting. He’s at Harborview.”

“How bad is it?” I asked feeling my heart drop to my knees, beating agonizingly hard.

“All I’ve found out so far was a broke leg, dislocated shoulder and a concussion.”

“I’m on my way.” After finishing up the conversation I looked over the counter at my desk. Fuck my work. Even though Aaron was Steve’s little brother, he was like my little brother too. I rushed to the doctor’s office and told him what was going on, he told me to just go ahead and worry about my work later. He was always a ‘family first’ kind of guy, and for that I owed him.

I raced from the eastside to Harborview in Seattle. What was I going to tell them when I got there? Did Kelly tell whoever called her that I would be on my way? Did I have to play the dreaded ‘sister-in-law’ role? I didn’t even know Aaron was in town for crying out loud!

I parked my car and ran into the ER. I waited impatiently in line for the admittance line. I looked around, trying to see if there was anywhere else I could go to get information, but this desk looked like it would be the one I would want. When I finally reached the front I looked at the receptionist, realizing she probably hates her job even more than I do.

“I’m looking for Aaron Jahraus. His mother called me and told me he was admitted here.”

She typed away at her computer, glancing up at me quickly. “Up the elevator to the third floor, room 3002.” My eyes flew open in shock. I was trained in patient privacy, she should have asked me who I was. I was thankful though, I just wanted to see Aaron and make sure he was okay.

I rushed off the elevator and navigated my way toward his room. I walked in and could just feel him in there. I didn’t look his way though, I kept my eyes trained on Aaron. I walked up to his bed and took in his sight. His whole left leg was in a cast, his left arm in a sling and an ice pack on top of his head. “Hey buddy, you okay?” I asked him as I reached out and took his hand in mine.

“Best I can be. I guess I hit my head pretty hard.”

“Looks like you busted the whole left side of your body,” I smiled and a sly grin crawled over his face. He was definitely drugged up.

“Hey V, if I die, will you promise me you’ll marry Steve?” I cringed at his words, and ignored the body now standing a few feet away from me.

“You’re not going to die for a very, very long time,” I answered with the best fake smile on my face.

“You changed your hair.” I glanced over my shoulder quickly at Steve but continued to ignore him.

“You did change your hair!” Aaron exclaimed with a smile. “You cut it and dyed it. Why’d you do that?”

“I needed a change. I hated my blond hair anyways.”

“Well it looks good on you,” Aaron smiled then his eyes fluttered shut. Now with him asleep there was no possible way I could ignore Steve. I turned to him just in time to see his eyes scanning over my body. I almost felt violated. That poor woman he is with, I immediately felt bad for her.

“What happened?” I asked sharply pointing to Aaron.

“Some guy in a truck ran a red light doing fifty. Aaron was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. He’ll be fine though. He’s got a third grade concussion, broken femur and tore the labrum in his shoulder.”

“What are you doing here? In Seattle?”

“Just visiting. We swung by your apartment last night, but you weren’t home.” I shuddered at the thought that he knew where I lived now. What he must think of me now, living in the slums, instead of the beautiful condo we shared in Bellevue. “So where were you?” I rolled my eyes at his question.

“Like it’s any of your damn business, but it was Brooks’ birthday, I was in Wawota. Now that I know he’s okay, I’m going to leave.” I made my way toward the door and noticed he was following me. I stopped in my tracks and spun around and looked at him. “What are you doing?”

“I’ll walk you out.” I knew that even if I told him not to, he would anyways, so I figured the best course of action was to just ignore him.

We remained silent until I was five feet away from my car. He grabbed on to my upper arm and spun me around, forcing me to face him. “I miss you.”

“That’s too bad, I don’t miss you.”

“I still love you Veronica. I never stopped loving you.” I felt my eyes fill with water. I screamed at myself internally to not let him see me cry, but it was too late. I reached up quickly and wiped my tears away before they reached my nose. “I know you still love me.”

“I stopped loving you a very long time ago,” I lied through clinched teeth.

“Well you don’t look happy.”

I turned to walk away but he kept a firm grip on my arm. I wiped away a few more tears and diverted my eyes down to my feet. Why did I allow him to do this to me? To make me feel this way? It wasn’t fair to myself. Every time I thought I made a breakthrough with getting over him, he’d show up, making me regret ever leaving him.

“Leave me alone Steve, please?” I pleaded, almost begging.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not? All I want to do is just get over you. Put you in my past, but I can’t do that if you still talk to me like this! You have no idea what I’m going through!”

“You left me, did you forget? I can’t leave you alone because somewhere in my head I have this fantasy that you’ll come running back to me. Maybe realize what you did was stupid, and that we are supposed to be together.”

“I have to go.” I walked away again, and luckily this time he released my arm.





My hands trembled as I scrolled through my contacts, landing on Brooks’ name. I hit the send button and stuffed the phone between my ear and the pillow. Hearing his voice, receive his reassurance was all I needed right now. I made the right choice. Right? Brooks would tell me.

“Hey you’ve reached Brooks, it’s summertime which more than likely means I’m in Canada and have minimal cell service-” Just hearing his message made me smile, but I still needed someone, anyone, to talk to. Again, for reassurance.

I quickly dialed another number and shoved it back on top of my pillow.

“Hey Niko,” Mike answered with an obvious smile on his face.

“Tell me leaving Steve was the best decision I’ve ever made?”

“What?”

“Tell me Mike. Did I make a mistake leaving Steve?”

“Hell no. Look I’ve only met the guy once or twice, but he’s a total asshole. Why are you so upset? What happened?”

“He’s here. I saw him. He told me he’s still in love with me.”

Silence. That’s not what I wanted to hear. Damnit Brooks, why didn’t you answer?! “Are you still in Saskatchewan?” I asked after the silence was screaming at me that Steve was right and I wasn’t.

“Yeah, you want to talk to Brooks?”

“Please.” After some rumbling I heard Brooks’ voice greet me and I instantly began to cry.

“What do you mean you saw him? He doesn’t live in Seattle anymore.” I went on to tell him about Aaron and how they were visiting. The hardest part was telling him that Steve knew where I lived. I had no idea how he figured that out. Who would tell him?

“I want you to listen to me carefully okay Niko?”

I sniffed a few times before telling him “okay”.

“The only stupid thing you did was not leave him sooner. He really messed you up, man,” the last few words he mumbled to himself. “Look babe, I don’t know what to tell you other than leaving Steve was the best thing you have ever done. I really want you to get over him though, but I’m not going to push you. I haven’t pushed you yet. I understand it takes time, but there’s a certain point where you just need to buck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You may think you still love him, but he’s no good for you. I want you to think about yourself. Imagine yourself ten years down the road if you were still with him.” I held back my sobs, wanting to be able to hear everything he was telling me.

“Steve has cemented these lies into your head about what you should do with your life. And that’s all they are; lies! Trust me Niko, you don’t want to be the butt end of someone’s verbal abuse for the rest of your life.” The sobs I were holding back came out full force, and I shoved my face into my pillow, all while punching the mattress.

“I love you Niko, you know that right?”

“Yes, I love you too Brooks. Thank you for putting up with my shit.”

“Of course, now I have a question for you. How come you called Mike and not me?” He asked with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“I did call you. You didn’t answer.”

"Fuck, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"And you'll be okay too. I know you will, I wouldn't think you were so awesome if I didn't think you could get through this. Now take a hot bath, open a bottle of wine, watch one of your chick flicks and then get some sleep." I ended my conversation with Brooks and immediately felt better. I knew whenever I needed a pick-me-up, Brooks would always be there for me. Always.

3: How Did We Fall In Love?

I kept to myself relaxing out in the sun, scared I would break down yet again. I didn’t know how I felt throwing that journal in to the lake. Relief? Sadness? I was confused. That was something I felt like I would hold on to for the rest of my life. No matter what would happen in my life, Steve will always be a huge part of it. He’s helped me grow in to the person I am today. Was that a good thing though?

I heard strumming of a guitar from behind me and smiled. He’s gotten better at the guitar. I chuckled thinking about the day he went out and bought his first acoustic. He was so excited, and within two hours of having it he was frustrated and angry. “I’m musically challenged!” He shouted tossing the guitar on the bed and storming out of his room. I kept encouraging him to play though. Now a sweet, soothing sound filled the air surrounding us in the middle of Canada.

“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone,” I heard from behind me, and I immediately turned around in the lounge chair I was in to look at Brooks. “It’s not warm when she’s away. Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, and she’s always gone too long anytime she goes away.”

I got up from my chair and walked up to him, sitting down next to him on the bench.

“Wonder this time where she’s gone. Wonder if she’s gone to stay. Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, and this house just ain’t no home anytime she goes away.” He bumped his shoulder into mine and stopped singing.

“Since when do you sing?”

“That was the first time outside of my shower.”

“Honest opinion, or no?”

“Honest.”

“Great song, probably one of my favorites, but . . . keep it in the shower.”

“Whatever,” he laughed as he got up and set his guitar down. I watched as he tore his shirt off and grabbed my hand, pulling me up off the bench. I followed him down on to the dock, and he jumped straight in to the water. I sat on the ledge of the dock, and allowed my legs to soak in the polluted water. Polluted only because his words were now in the bottom of the lake.

“Are you still thinking about it?” Brooks asked floating in front of me.

“No,” I stammered out a little too quickly and sharply.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“It’s hard Brooks, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh right, because when Molly left me after two years of dating it wasn’t hard at all. Come on Niko. I just want you to be happy again. Can you please be happy?”

“I will. It’s just . . . I don’t know. I go through these swings where I’m just down right confused and miserable, and that’s happening right now. It’s like relationship bi-polar. It’s sickening. I love you though, that’s all that matters.”

“You say you love me but you won’t put out, what kind of shit is that?” I kicked up my foot, splashing water in his face. Seeing the look in his eyes after he wiped the water away, I knew I was done for. Sure enough, not even thirty seconds later I was in the lake with him.






“You need to call your boss and tell him you won’t be back until Wednesday.”

“What? Why?”

“Did you honestly think I was okay with you leaving the day before my birthday? Besides, Mike’s on his way out here.”

“I didn’t want to leave before your birthday, but I can’t take that much time off of work. I have to use my vacation time accordingly, and I don’t think I have that much left as it is.”

“How much do you get paid an hour?”

“Why?”

“I’ll match what you would get paid, to spend my birthday with me.”

“Damnit Brooks. It’s fine. It’s okay, I’ll go call him.”


After pulling some bullshit lie out of my ass for my boss, I walked back in to the house and found Brooks rummaging through the kitchen. “So you said Mike is on his way out here? Like driving out here? That’s a long ass drive. When will he be here?”

“Yeah, it’s about ten hours, and he should be here within the hour, he called an hour ago from Weyburn.”

“And when were you planning on telling me?”

“It was supposed to be a surprise. But you know, I can’t keep my mouth shut about anything.”

I rolled my eyes as I pushed him out of the kitchen and took over preparing dinner. What was I going to cook for dinner? I look in his cupboards, Kraft Dinner after Kraft Dinner. I laughed as I made my way to the refrigerator. I opened the freezer and mounds of meat were piled high. Looks like we’ll be BBQing. I pulled out a few steaks and grabbed some seasonings out of his pantry and went to town.

By the time the meat was sizzling on the grill I heard a commotion in the house. I looked in and sure enough there was that all too familiar mo-hawk making his way out toward me.

“Hi girlfriend,” he smiled, and at that instant my knees buckled just the slightest bit.

“Hi boyfriend,” I smiled back and waited till he was right in front of me to throw my arms around his neck.





Three glasses of whiskey were held in the air and we looked from one person to the other. After a fun-filled dinner with Brooks’ family, the three of us were back at his house with a fresh bottle of whiskey and not a damn care in the world. Well almost, I had a 1 PM flight home, with a three hour drive to the airport. Being an international flight, Brooks and I had to leave the house no later than 8 AM. Whiskey and early mornings usually never mix very well.

“Here’s to my two best friends spending my birthday with me, acting like boyfriend and girlfriend, but most of all putting a smile on this girl’s face,” he smiled at me and we clinked our glasses together. I took a sip of my glass, but before I could take it away from my mouth, Mike’s fingers were on the bottom of my glass pushing it up, causing all the alcohol to go down my throat. When it was all gone, I set the glass down and felt my eyes water up and my mouth salivate. “You asshole.”

“You’re one of the boys, you need to drink like one of the boys.”

“No, that’s one rule I will never abide by.”

“So we need to come up with a story,” Mike smiled as Brooks filled our glasses up again. I grabbed my glass and slid it away from Mike. He was known for filling my glass without my knowledge.

“We met through Brooks. It’s true and it’s believable.”

“How did we fall in love though? And how long have we been together?”

“I fell for your baby face two months ago,” I laughed reaching out and pinching his cheek.

“You do that again and it will get ugly. I’ll do something to that hair of yours.”

I grabbed a piece of my chemically dyed jet black hair and twirled it around my finger.

“I liked it better blond,” he said bluntly as he sipped on his drink.

“I like it black,” Brooks added all while looking at the label on the bottle.

“Thanks Brooks, I like it black too,” I smiled at him and he looked up at me quickly and flashed a smile before turning his attention back to the bottle.

“Anyways, so we fell in love two months ago. Is there anything Steve knows, that I need to know too?”

“I hate grasshoppers.”

“She hates grasshoppers.” Brooks and I both answered at the same time.

“Wait, what? Grasshoppers?”

“The resort we’re going to, it’s covered with grasshoppers, and little Miss over here hates them. She’s terrified of them.”

“So if I see one I can just pick you up and rescue you?” When I looked at Mike again, his bottom lip plumped out, I got that weird feeling again. When did he get so good looking? Thinking about being in his arms made me lose my train of thought.

“Um, yeah, sure. Whatever you want.”

“BUT NO SEX!” Brooks shouted and I laughed. “If I can’t sleep with her, nobody can.”

“It will be fun,” Mike smiled. The side of my mouth curled up, but it didn’t do much more. I was still dreading going.

“One can hope,” I mumbled just as the timer for the oven went off, alerting me the birthday cake I made was finished. I excused myself and headed into the kitchen.

As I was icing the cake I felt a pair of hands land on my waist. I froze in place and by the smell of the person behind me I could tell it was Mike. “If I’m going to be your boyfriend, you can’t stiffen up when I touch you.”

“You startled me, that was all.” I turned around and leaned up against the counter, he took a step forward.

“We have to make it look believable you know.”

“I honestly plan on being drunk the whole weekend, so whatever you think.”

“Just one.”

“One what?” He took another step forward and placed his hand on my jaw, pulling my face toward his. The minute his lips came into contact with mine, I lost my footing a bit and slid down, but his hand found the small of my back, keeping me in place. Our lips moved insync, and not for one moment did I think we were faking this. The sparks emitted from his lips to mine were unmistakable. He pulled away with a smile on his face, and I could only imagine I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He winked at me before walking away. What the hell just happened?