19: Snowflakes In My Eyes

Wednesday and Saturday nights quickly became my nights with Mike. It worked perfectly for us. We would talk on the phone, and I would see him at home games, but on Wednesdays and Saturdays it was just us, hanging out in front of the fireplace doing whatever we pleased. Our biweekly sleep-overs made the weeks fly by, and before I knew it I was supervising Brooks hanging up Christmas lights outside of the house.

"I can hear your teeth chattering all the way up here!" Brooks laughed from his position at the top of the ladder.

"I'm not used to weather this cold! This is fucking cold!"

"It snows in Seattle."

"Rarely! We had a freaky snowstorm last winter, but even when it does snow, it doesn't last more than a week!"

"Well baby, welcome to the east coast!"

I growled as I held the blanket tighter to my body. I probably looked like a snowman with all of the layers I had wrapped around me. "Are you almost done?" I shouted back up at him.

"Yeah, I just need to hang the last of this strand, and then we can go get a tree!"

Getting a tree, that meant spending more time out in the cold. That meant I would have to grab more blankets and more hot chocolate. But going out to get a Christmas tree with Brooks was something we hadn't done together since his last year in junior in 2002. So I sucked it up, and put on a smile, excited to go get our Christmas tree. I watched as he climbed down the ladder and headed into the garage, a moment later the lights flicked on and I smiled. Maybe this year, I'll actually enjoy Christmas. "How's it look?" He asked as he headed my way to join me in the driveway. I couldn't say anything, I just smiled at him. I was almost convinced my mouth froze in place. He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around me as we looked up at the house. "Wow, that's really shitty," he laughed as we both noticed a long stretch of lights were out above the garage. He let me go and began his surgery on the lights, to find the loose one. When he finally found it, I smiled at the picture perfect sight in front of me. White lights trimmed our two story home, snow covered every surface around us, and Brooks, Brooks with that addictive smile wrapped me up in a hug and kissed my forehead. "Ready to go get a tree?" I nodded my head smiling up at him.

After he locked up the house we climbed into his truck we set out on our Christmas tree adventure. “So I have to tell you, this is the first tree I’ve ever had in DC,” Brooks confessed as he navigated his way through the slick streets.

“Really? How come?”

“Well, what was the point of having a tree when it was just me? Or if I was back home? Now I get to have Christmas with my bestie! And we’re getting a tree!”

“Never call me your ‘bestie’ again. I can’t believe you just said that, you sound like a sixteen-year-old girl,” I laughed as I looked over at him and the corner of his mouth curled up.

“Can you believe we met when we were seventeen? Damn near ten years ago.”

“Oh, don’t remind me. I don’t need to know how old I’m getting.”

“We’re aging pretty well don’t you think?”

“Well you are, that’s for damn sure. Me? I don’t know.”

“Oh please, you’re just as beautiful today as you were when I met you, maybe even more.”

I felt myself blush, and wasn’t exactly sure how to take his compliment. “Probably cause I don’t have big ass bangs anymore,” I laughed nervously looking out the side window to see it start snowing again.



I was frolicking through the snow. Yes, frolicking. I felt like the little kid that never got to experience picking out a Christmas tree in the snow before. I was the little kid that’s never had this experience before. I smiled brightly at Brooks as he walked behind me, carrying an ax in hand. “Will you stop dancing and just pick out a tree?” He laughed shaking his head at me.

“You don’t understand Brooks; I’ve never done this before. We’ve always gotten our trees in the Home Depot parking lot.” This caused him to laugh as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug, careful of the ax that was still in his hand.

“Well then, any tree you want. Come on its cold out, let’s pick one out and go home.” I smiled up at him and pulled away from his arms and continued to skip through the tree farm. I turned a corner and stopped upon seeing a beautiful, snow covered tree in front of us. It stood at least nine feet tall and I could already picture it in our living room. “That one?” He asked, his mouth severely close to my ear.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Alright, hold the top for me,” he smiled as he knelt down next to me and began to cut away at the stump. I couldn’t hold back my laughter as all of the snow was falling off, and sliding down the back of his jeans. He squealed a few times, but a minute or two later I felt the tree fall away from me, and I held on as he stood up and grabbed onto the back of his jeans and tried to get the snow out.

“Okay, let’s go, I need to change my pants.” He dragged the tree behind him back up to the farm where we loaded it into the back of his truck. On the drive home, I couldn’t help but look out the back window. A real Christmas tree.



I cleared out a corner of the living room as Brooks prepared the tree in the garage. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face; I was actually enjoying decorating for the holidays. Something I have hated for as long as I could remember, probably because holidays meant the whole family would be together. But now, with it just being Brooks and I, I was enjoying everything we were doing.

Once the tree was in place, I pulled out the dozen or so bags of ornaments we had purchased earlier in the week. Brooks pulled out the lights, and we got to work.

“We don’t have a topper?” I asked after the last ornament was placed on the tree.

“Yeah, actually I do. It’s really old so we have to be careful with it,” he smiled as he bent over a box and pulled out a gold star. This wasn’t any gold star though, this was one the little girl I used to babysit in high school made for him.

“You still have that?” I asked shocked as he handed it to me.

“Of course. I figured I would keep it until I had a daughter of my own to make me a new one.”

I could feel my bones melt as he talked. Minus the underwear incident when I met his teammates, could Brooks be anymore fucking perfect? Excuse my language, but I was in complete awe. I could hear my uterus screaming at me that this guy is supposed to be the father of my children. He plucked the star out of my hand and climbed back on top of the step stool to attach it to the top of the tree.

He stepped back down and folded up the step stool and placed it aside before plugging in the lights. He stood next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we looked at our tree. “Looks good, eh?”

“It does. This might be the first Christmas tree I’ve ever had that I didn’t want to take a baseball bat to,” I laughed as I wrapped my arm around his waist and we stood there in complete silence soaking in the moment. I looked up and smiled at him, and he looked down at me and matched my smile. Our eyes locked and stayed in position as our smiles slowly began to fade. His eyes flicked down to my lips quickly before coming back up to my eyes. He withdrew his arm from around my shoulders and stepped to stand in front of me. My arm that was around his waist slid away, and my hand rested on his hip, on instinct I placed my other hand on his other hip, almost as if I was holding him in place. I glanced at my hands, before running my eyes up his chest and to his face. He looked like he was in pain, like he had just been hip checked into the boards. I could tell he was biting down on the inside of his bottom lip, his nose was flaring and his eyebrows would twitch together before relaxing. He closed his eyes and shook his head before kissing my forehead and walked away. I stood there and looked at our tree that had come back into view for me. What the hell was wrong with him?





“Something’s bothering you,” Mike commented as we settled in on his couch together. I shrugged my shoulders and held the blanket closer to us. “No Veronica, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, just yesterday Brooks and I decorated for Christmas, then we went and got a tree, and then he just disappeared. I haven’t seen him at all today either. Do you know if something is going on? Has he said anything at practice?” I turned my head to look in Mike’s eyes.

“No, hasn’t said anything. Maybe it’s just the stress of the holidays.”

“He doesn’t stress over holidays,” I laughed as I felt his arms around my waist tighten.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the stress of the hockey season, we aren’t exactly spectacular this year.”

I bit my bottom lip and thought about it. It was true; the team wasn’t what they were hoping they would be this year. Sure they were winning games, but not nearly as many as they were hoping too. Brooks though, on a personal level, was having a MVP season. The kid is psychotic on the ice, he’s doing everything he can. Would he just disappear because of hockey though? He hasn’t in the past. “I don’t know. This is new. I’ve never seen this Brooks before.”

“Well whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll get over it soon. Maybe he found himself a girlfriend.”

Girlfriend? No, no there’s way. He would tell me. He would tell me, right? “Has he said anything? Like in the locker room.”

“Even if he has, you know I can’t tell you that. What’s said in the locker room, sta-“

“Stays in the locker room, yeah I know. Damn hockey fools.” I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out to see it was a text message from Jodi, Brooks’ sister. My heart instantly fell. We rarely talked, usually only at family functions. Now with Brooks acting odd and having her text me, I could only think the absolute worst. But bad news wouldn’t come over a text message. I finally opened the message and read it.

I think it’s time to get your eyes checked.

“What?!”

“Hmm? Who is it?”

“Jodi. She told me it’s time to get my eyes checked.”

“Well you’re birthday is only a month away. You, my dear, aren’t getting any younger.”

“Har-har, very funny Mike. She’s older than me though! Who does she think she is throwing old jokes at me?” I laughed as I silenced my phone and tossed it on the ground to fully enjoy my Wednesday night with Mike. He was the only one that didn’t remind me of how old I was getting, and for that I was truly grateful.