2: Nine Months

"How are your parents?” Brooks asked after half the bottle of whiskey was gone, along with the pizza.

"They're enjoying retirement. They are also enjoying pushing me to get married," I rolled my eyes thinking about the last conversation I had with my mother. 'You're twenty-six years old! You can't dwell on the past forever!' Brooks stood up from the table and headed into the kitchen. When he returned, he was carrying a deck of cards. He tossed the cards to me and then poured another round of whiskey. I began to shuffle and then he handed me my glass. "What are we playing?" I asked once the cards were nice and shuffled.

"Strip poker."

"Ha! Yeah right. I learned my lesson last time not to play that with you."

"Can we at least make out at some point while you're here?"

"You would think after me turning you down for the past nine years you’d give up, but no, of course not.”

“You do know I’m just messing with you right? You’re so fun to mess with because you’re so gullible,” he laughed and I handed him the deck of cards while clenching my jaw. That was one thing I truly disliked about myself, and that was how gullible I truly was. I guess I have Steve to blame for that though, for some reason I eventually believed all the bad things he would say to me. I was fat, useless, not worth it. Brooks didn’t know half the stuff Steve would say to me, but I would never forget the day he overheard Steve calling me fat. I never thought Brooksie had it in him to punch a family member, I was mistaken. Steve sported a nice black eye for a week or two.

“Alright, you ready to go over what’s at stake?” Brooks asked as he dealt me two cards for Texas Hold’em.

“Sure,” I mumbled as I looked at my pocket seven’s and the pile of skittles we used at chips in front of me. “Wait, we have the same amount of skittles right, I zoned out when you split them up. You’re not cheating are you?”

“I gave you one extra, I know you’ll need it,” he laughed and I automatically picked a purple one up and popped it in my mouth. He chuckled before looking at his cards, then setting them back down, looking me straight in the eye. “If you win, you get whatever you, except for anything having to deal with the family reunion. Sorry baby, too many people want to see you, you can’t back out. Now, if I win this is what I want.” He sucked his bottom lip in as he studied my face. If he says sex, I will leap across the table and slap him. I could see in his eyes though, that whatever he was thinking about was something serious. Very serious. I suddenly became scared.

“What do you want Brooks?” I asked after I couldn’t handle his silence any longer. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“One year and five days from today, on June 23rd, 2010, my 27th birthday, if you’re not dating anyone, and I’m not dating anyone, I’m putting a ring on your finger.”

My mouth dropped. Okay he just told me how he likes to mess with me. Obviously that’s happening right now. “You’re such an asshole. Why do you do that to me? You know I believe everything you say!”

“What do you want if you win?”

“A . . . foot . . . massage,” I answered even though I was still very, very confused. Was he messing with me, or not? I kept my eyes on him, but he leaned forward and looked at his cards once more before flipping over the flop. An ace, and two sevens. I looked back at my cards. Four of a kind. I looked up at Brooks and he was flaring his nostrils, that meant he was holding a good hand. Pocket aces probably. I raised a yellow skittle. He called. The next card, a queen. The left side of his mouth twitched up, meaning that card was no good to him. Four skittles, various colors. He brought his eyes up from the cards to look at me and studied my face. I had this hand in the bag, but I showed no signs of it on my face. He called. The river was another queen. I quickly checked, I knew that no matter what he was holding, which was probably a full house, my hand would beat him. He sat there for a moment before pushing all of his skittles to the middle of the table.

“Were you messing with me Brooks?” I asked him before I would call his bet.

“I wouldn’t mess around with something like that,” he answered looking me straight in the eye. I could end this game right now, yet for some absurd reason I folded my cards.


I was four sheets to the wind by the time Brooks collected all of my skittles. “I suck at poker!” I slurred as I got up from the table and took our glasses into the kitchen. “I asked Steve all the time to teach me how to play, but he’s not much better at the game than I am!”

“I taught you how to play,” Brooks laughed as he walked into the kitchen and tossed the cards in to his junk drawer.

“A very long time ago, mind you. We’re not seventeen anymore Brooksie, we’re getting OLD!”

“You’re old, I’m still 25.”

“For another five days, you better live it up.” I walked out of the kitchen and headed out onto his back deck to sit on the bench swing and look out over the lake. A few moments later he joined me, grabbing my legs and twisting me so my feet rested in his lap.

“You still want that foot massage?”

“But, I lost,” I pouted, sticking my bottom lip out for full effect.

“We can either head upstairs and have whiskey drunk sex, or I can give you a foot massage.”

“Rub away, maestro.”





The ringing of my cell phone pulled me out of my sleep and when I lifted my head I immediately regretted it. I hated being hung over. I reached around for my phone and finally found it under the covers next to my hip bone. I hit the accept button and shoved the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Did I wake you?” I shot up in bed and closed my eyes, feeling the nausea swirl around in my head.

“What do you want Steve?” I ask pinching my eyes shut.

“Who’s your boyfriend? And how come you didn’t tell me you met someone?”

“First off, it’s none of your business what my personal life is like anymore, and second off, you’ll meet him at the reunion, so don’t even worry about it.”

“Can you at least give me his first name?”

“Mike. What’s your girlfriends name?” I couldn’t believe I asked him that. It was like I was stooping down to his level. In a childish ‘if you must know, than I must know too’ sort of way.

“Ashley. What does Mike do?”

“What does it matter, Steve?”

“I just want to know. Sorry for still having interest in my ex-girlfriend’s life.”

“Well you shouldn’t, okay? I shouldn’t even be going to your family reunion, I have no right being there.”

“I want you there.”

“Why do you want me there?”

“I haven’t seen you in nine months.” It’d been nine months already? Had I really been this miserable for nine months? It felt like just yesterday driving away from him, packing up all of my things and leaving him.

“I have to go.” I quickly hung up the phone, not being able to talk to him much longer. I pulled the pillow over my head and broke down in tears. Nine months. I’d been alone for nine months. I don’t know how many times I had asked Steve to stop calling and emailing me. There was no way I could get over him if he was constantly popping up here and there. How was he able to find a girlfriend so fast? From what I’d heard from his brother Aaron, Steve and this Ashley had been together six months. Three months after I left him. THREE MONTHS!! Maybe it’s just me, but that was very quick. Almost too quick. Here I am, hiding under a pillow crying because the love of my life is an asshole who moved on from me, yet won’t leave me alone. What was wrong with this picture?

“Niko, what’s wrong?” I heard Brooks ask and then the bed dip down. The pillow covering my head was removed and I was in full blown hysterics.

“I miss him so much Brooks. He’s all I think about. Nine months. Did you know I left him nine months ago?” He slowly nodded his head, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

“I know. He was wrong for you though. Niko, you didn’t want to live that life with him. You would have been unhappy.”

“That’s the fucking funny thing though, I am unhappy! Look at me! I wasn’t happy in that relationship, but I’m miserable now. Unhappy is a step up from miserable!!”

“Alright Niko, you’ve left me no choice, get up.”

“What?” I asked scrunching my eyebrows together. He grabbed onto my arm and pulled me up and out of bed. I stumbled over my feet, very dizzy from the hangover, but managed to stay upright as he dragged me downstairs. We stopped in the kitchen and he opened the hall closet, pulling my purse out. He set it down on the counter in front of me and pointed to it. “Get it out.”

“What?”

“The book Niko, take it out.” How does he know? I starred at him with my mouth ajar. How the hell did Brooks know I carried it around? Unless he snooped through my purse.

“You went through my purse?”

“No, I just know you. I know you better than your own parents. I know you carry it around. Take it out.” There was no backing down. I stepped forward and unzipped my purse, pulling out the beaten black leather journal.

“Come on.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me out back. We kept walking until we were on the edge of his dock. “Throw it in the water.”

“What?! No!” During the first year of our relationship Steve wrote me letters in this journal. Some silly, other’s serious, and from time to time I would pull it out and read it. Trying, just for a day, to remember how good I had it.

“He treated you like crap Niko! He called you names and degraded you in front of strangers. He would talk crap about you in front of you to his friends! He’s not worthy of someone as amazing as you!” Brooks began to yell at me and with each word my vision became more obscured with more tears. “It’s been nine months. You have got to pull it together and get over him. You’re miserable because you’re still hung up on him. If you get over it, you’ll see the bright colors of life again! Damnit, I want my old Niko back!”

The more Brooks yelled at me, the most pissed off I became. He did this to me. Steve turned me into this miserable monster. I released a glass shattering scream and threw the journal as far out into the lake I physically could. Two strong arms wrapped around my waist just in time before I fell into the lake myself. I fell back against Brooks’ chest and cried. I cried hoping I would drown in my tears, and not feel the pain I was going through anymore.

1: The Plan: Act Happy

My eyes stayed on the blinking black vertical line in the white rectangle box. I was counting how many times it would blink until something would magically appear on the screen. When my eyes began to play tricks on me and I was somewhere around two hundred, my fingers began to move, words forming on the screen.

"No, no, no! You can't tell him that!" Brooks said from behind me as he pulled the desk chair away from the computer. He took a firm stance in front of the computer, hunching over the keyboard. I listened to him type away the fastest he could. A slow, rhythmic 'click . . . click . . . click', with a few stoppages here and there.

"What are you writing?" I asked impatiently trying to look over his broad shoulders. It was no use, he was blocking the whole computer.

"Sent," he declared as he turned around and flashed that million dollar smile at me. My face dropped and I pushed him aside as I scooted up to the computer. My hand gripped down tight on the mouse as I scanned over to my sent folder. I hesitated clicking on it at first, scared of what I would find. Brooks took it upon himself to push down on my pointer finger, opening the sent folder.

Is it okay if I bring my boyfriend?

"EXCUSE ME?! Who's my boyfriend!?" I asked him with wide eyes, spinning around so fast in the chair I kept going and smacked my knee on the desk.


"Mike," he answered like it was obvious. He bent down and lifted up the leg of my linen pants to inspect where I hit my knee. "That's gonna be a pretty bruise," he laughed running his fingers over the scrapped skin. I smacked his hand away and looked at him like he was crazy.

"Mike? Mike Green? Your boyfriend? You want me to use your boyfriend to act like mine? You're out of your mind!! Besides there's no way he would agree to come to your family reunion."

"Free alcohol. That will get him to go anywhere."

"I can't believe you. I can't even believe I had agreed to go to this. I mean it's his family's family reunion. I'm not family! Not anymore at least," I mumbled the last three words feeling that sinking feeling in my chest once again. I clicked out of my email and got up from the chair.

"Hey, I'll be there, and I am family so don't worry about it! You're my guest. Sure his mom invited you, but I did too. It'll be fun! If you act like Mike is your boyfriend and at least put this act on like you're happy, maybe seeing Steve with someone new won't be as hard."

"Spending three days with my ex-fiancé with his new girlfriend can't qualify as fun, more like torture! I can see where you're getting at with the whole boyfriend thing though, I just want to be happy, not act like I am." I walked past him and headed toward the stairs.

"Niko! Come on, smile baby."

"Don't call me baby Brooks!" I shouted over my shoulder as I continued up the stairs and in to the guest bedroom where I was calling home for a few days.

I was on vacation from my hell back in Seattle. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown just from everything in my life, so with a phone call and a last minute flight to Regina, Saskatchewan, I found myself in Brooks Laich's lakefront home in the middle of nowhere. Which was exactly where I wanted to be. Brooks and I had met when we were both seventeen and he was playing junior for Seattle's WHL hockey team. Nine years later we are still the best of friends, giving each other shit as often as we possible can. When it came to my ex-fiancé though, it was no laughing matter.

I met Steve at Brooks' family reunion when I was twenty-one, the two being cousins. We hit it off immediately and a relationship bloomed out of thin air. The first two years were amazing. Pure, raw love and emotions, amazing sex, and above all, we just got one another. Just everything one could look for in a relationship. Then things got iffy. Once he pulled out a ring and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, and I said yes, I guess he figured he could treat me however he wanted then. He became verbally abusive, and not knowing anything else when it came to relationships I stuck it out. For another two years. It was shortly after our four year anniversary that I left his ass at a Jiffy Lube when he called me a bitch in front of strangers for not wearing the brand new diamond bracelet he bought me. Who wears diamonds to get their oil changed? This is where I admit I'm stupid though, I still love the guy. That's why I find myself in this dilemma. Why did I agree to go to his family reunion, the same one I had gone to every year for the past seven years? Especially when I know she'll be there. The new girlfriend.

"I could act like your boyfriend," Brooks stated as he walked in to the room and laid down on the bed next to me, thankfully pulling me out of my painful memories.

"That would cause anarchy, we can't do that to your family," I smiled looking over at him.

"The women would lose their minds if we showed up hand in hand," Brooks laughed, and I laughed along with him. "But . . . we can have that amazing sex we've been talking about, get the headboard moving."

"You're disgusting, you know that? So if Mike does come and does act like my 'boyfriend' wouldn't it be weird for me to be rooming with you and not him?"

"Does Mike honestly creep you out that much?" He asked laughing looking over at me. I kept the blank expression on my face, not wanting to answer the question. "Don't worry the room is a two bedroom suite, so the three of us could stay in there, and you can just shack up with me." I nodded my head and we fell in to a comfortable silence.

"So what do you want to do? I know Saskatchewan is just so exciting, so let's not overdo ourselves," he grinned after a few moments of rare silence between us.

"I don't know, I just want to hang out with you. I miss you. Now that you're this big NHL superstar I never get to see you anymore."

"And I told you we could fix that if you just move to DC with me. What's holding you back Veronica? You don't have an awesome job, your parents retired and moved away, your sister and brother both moved away. What's in Seattle that's keeping you there?" I looked at him with tears threatening to fall. What did I have? Nothing. On top of thinking about nothing, he called me Veronica. He hasn't called me that in years.

"I don't know," I whispered as he rolled over and pulled me in tight to his chest. Over the past years things just kind of fell apart. I felt abandoned. I broke off my engagement with Steve, my parents moved to Arizona, my sister and her husband to L.A., and then my brother and his wife to San Francisco. All within five months. I was stuck in my tiny apartment in the bad part of Seattle, with a low paying receptionist job at a dental clinic. What did I have? I inhaled deeply and took in Brooks' scent. Woodsy, yet sophisticated. I almost felt like I was living this double life. Life in Seattle, crappy and depressing and then life with Brooks, grand and exciting. There was nothing I loved more than last minute weekend trips to DC to party with Brooks and his boys, then return to work on Monday morning with a smile and a little secret about my personal life.

"If I move to DC though, I have to do it on my own, and I have to save enough money to make it while I find a job."

"You would have a job though, we talked about this Niko! You would work for me, I want to hire a chef, but I want to hire someone I know won't poison me. I can't eat at Olive Garden everyday for the rest of my life.

"Can we not talk about this anymore please? I came here to disappear, I just want to disappear," I pouted as I shoved my face in to his chest.

"Of course," he whispered as his grip around me tightened.



The ringing of my cell phone brought me out of my sleep and I went to sit up but heard grunting from below me. "Must you shove your knee in my groin?" Brooks groaned as he crawled out from underneath me. "Sorry." I got up from the bed and grabbed my cellphone off the nightstand.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby girl, you want me to be your boyfriend huh?" I rolled my eyes as I looked over at Brooks who was adjusting himself down the front of his basketball shorts. It amazed me how Brooks and Mike communicated and how quickly they did it. It was like wild fire.

"Brooks wants you to be my boyfriend, for three days, at his family reunion, I had no say in the matter."

"It'll be the best three days of your life, I'm telling you right now." I couldn't help but laugh, Mike could make the weekend a lot of fun. "I do have one question though."

"And what's that Mike?"

"Can we sleep together? You know go all out? Then you can brag to Steve how awesome I am in bed, the best you've ever had."

"You are disgusting! Absolutely not, I'm bringing my body pillow. It's settled." I looked over at Brooks who was now standing up, giving me a confused look. "Okay I'm hanging up now, bye Mike," I said quickly just as I snapped my phone shut. Brooks looked at me and opened his mouth a few times before biting his bottom lip. "You're not allowed to fall asleep on top of me anymore. I don't think I'll be able to have any children now."

"Poor baby, your girlfriends are going to have to work extra hard to get you up now, huh?"

"Want to help me find out?"

"You guys are disgusting. Men and sex, that's all you think about isn't it?"

"Sex, hockey . . . food and . . . video games!"

"Whatever. Am I cooking, or are you?" I asked as I began my trek toward his kitchen down the stairs.

"How about we go down to the store, grab a pizza, a bottle of whiskey, rent some movies and just get drunk."

"Best idea you've had by far."