20: Let's Talk About Sex

A/N: So, I feel like this chapter was just thrown together, and it was. It wasn't easy for me to write at all. I actually didn't even want to write it, but I had to, for the story's sake. =D So bare with me.

My eyes danced over his bare back as I watched Mike pull boxers on after he climbed out of bed. “Are you making breakfast this morning?” I asked with a smile, holding the white sheets around my body, sitting up in bed. He began to laugh and looked over his shoulder after pulling on jeans.

“You know I don’t cook.”

“Maybe you should learn some things.”

“Well I know a few things, but I don’t need to learn how to cook a full blown breakfast, that’s what cereal is for.”

I groaned inwardly, I’d been trying to get him to cook me breakfast for two months, he just couldn’t take a hint. He was clueless to most hints I dropped by him anyways. He’s so blind. I climbed out of bed and went straight for the bathroom where I got ready for my day.

After getting ready, I headed out to his kitchen where he was sitting at the counter eating cereal. “Leaving already?” He asked grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me into a hug.

“I am, I have a lot of stuff to do today,” I smiled at him before pecking him on the lips. I winked at him before collecting my things and walking out the door. I climb into my new car parked on the street and whisper sweet nothings to her as I start her up and begin my journey through the snow covered roads.

I arrived safely back at home, and grabbed my overnight bag before trekking up to the front door. I unlocked the door and walked in, dropping my bags on the hallway bench and headed straight to the kitchen for hot chocolate and a real breakfast. I looked around and noticed dishes from the previous night were still the sink, which meant Brooks was still in bed. He was pretty good about doing the dishes on mornings I was at Mike’s house. I took a deep breath and then suddenly heard pounding above me. Brooks’ bedroom is directly above the kitchen, what the hell was he doing? I headed for the stairs, and once I climbed half way up I heard it. The moans, the creaking, the grunts and the small screams.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Brooks was having sex. Sex! I stayed on the stairs and strained my ears to listen in. Her voice was crystal clear, which only meant one thing, his door was open. Dare I? I tiptoed my way up the rest of the stairs and stopped a few feet away from his door. Her name is Ashley. Brooks was kind enough to use her name while asking if she liked it “right there”. Why were my men leaving me for women named Ashley? I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head. Brooks isn’t my man and I left Steve. It’s not Ashley’s fault! I opened my eyes back up and his moans and her screams were getting louder. Is that what I would do if Brooks was nailing me? Scream my vocal chords out? I took the last few steps forward and peaked in. HOLY SHIT!

How? How does a woman twist her body like that? But most of all, how did I not know how amazing Brooks’ ass is? So firm and round. WHAT? I sneak back downstairs and grab my iPod out of my purse and shove my earphones deep into my ears before plopping down on the couch. Now I know how Brooks felt when he heard Mike and I going at it. It fucking sucks. Seeing him, and hearing them, I need to change my underwear, but I don’t want to go back upstairs. I close my eyes and wait it out.

Sometime later a loud scream caused me to go flying off of the couch. I turned around to see Ashley in one of Brooks’ shirts, with Brooks right behind her. “What are you doing home so early?” Brooks asked quickly, his eyes ready to bulge out of his head.

“I got annoyed with Mike, kinda, over breakfast, decided to come home. Who’s your friend?” I asked with the biggest fake smile I could muster.

“Um, Niko, this is Ashley. Ash this is Veronica.” He has a nickname for her. I almost want to throw up. For a millisecond I feel like I’m being replaced. I’m . . . jealous.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” I say to her, fake smile still on my face.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” she mumbles trying to cover her face that is quickly turning a bright shade of red. She pointed to the stairs and mumbled a few words I didn’t catch before running upstairs. I dragged my eyes away from the stairs and glared at Brooks.

“When were you going to tell me you got a girlfriend? I’ve been freaking out because you just disappeared on me Tuesday! Don’t you think it would have been easier if you would have just told me?”

He scratched the back of his neck and I knew he was trying to come up with the right words. The right words to not piss me off royally. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh!” He had what I was having, I guess. Great sex, and just casual get-togethers, or as some people would call “dates”.

“I met her last night at a bar,” he shouted out and I looked at him in complete shock. That was so unlike Brooks. He was never the type to just bring a girl home.

“Wow. That’s um . . . amazing that, uh . . . you remember her name. Good conversation?”

“Oh shut up, you should be happy I’m getting some, I’ve been really uptight lately.” Uptight? Was he really uptight? I hadn’t noticed. His sex life was none of my business, but I didn’t know he was so deprived of sex that he was what he considered ‘uptight’. “So I take it you heard us, considering the iPod?” He asked as a slight blush crossed his face.

“Oh, I more than heard. I didn’t know what was going on, so I went up stairs and might have accidentally looked in your room to see what all the racquet was about.” Okay, so it was a small white lie. I couldn’t actually tell him curiosity got the best of me and wanted to see what he looked like while, well, you know. “It’s not entirely my fault though, you left your door WIDE OPEN!”

“So I take it you know what my ass looks like now?”

“Yeah, nothing too exciting.” Lie.

“I’m surprised we didn’t walk in on you masturbating or something. I mean I was putting on quiet the show. How long did you watch?”

“Not long honestly, just a small peak. Looked pretty boring actually. And for your information I’m as dry as the desert right now, sorry hun, watching you have sex just doesn’t get me off.” Complete lie.

“It doesn’t because you don’t know how amazing it is.”

“And I never will.” Hopefully a lie.

He rolled his eyes and headed back upstairs. I let out the breath I was holding and looked around the living room. I heard my phone beep and got up from the couch and pulled it out of my purse. A new email . . . from Steve. This morning couldn’t get any fucking better.

You can’t avoid me forever.

“Yes I can,” I groaned as I deleted his email and headed into the kitchen. Ever since he showed up randomly at our doorstep in September I’ve successfully avoided him. I had no idea why he was even trying to talk to me. It was frustrating.

I scrolled through my contacts and landed on my sister’s name. It was pretty early on the west coast, but I knew she was an early bird, and I just needed to talk to someone. Anyone.

“Hey V!” My sister answered brightly after a few rings.

“Hey Jenn, how are you?”

“I’m good, you sound like you’re about to have an anxiety attack, your voice is shaking. What’s wrong?”

I looked around the house before stepping into my boots and taking my conversation outside. Once I felt like I was far enough away from the house and still out of earshot of the neighbors I took a deep breath. “I want to have sex with Brooks. Like bad. My legs are trembling, my breathing is erratic. I just, help me get these thoughts out of my head!”

“Aren’t you sleeping with his teammate?”

“Mike. Yeah we’re somewhat seeing each other. It’s nothing serious. Dinner, movies, sex. Come on Jenn! Help me! I can’t have these thoughts in my head about my best friend, it’s just wrong!”

“Just sleep with him! Best friends do it all the time!”

I sighed heavily, watching my breath float around me in the cold. “No, you don’t understand. We’ve never even kissed before. We don’t go past hugs and kisses on the cheek. That’s just how we are. No complications, we like it like that.”

“Oh! I could have sworn you guys have made out before.”

“Nope. Never.”

“Well then, start thinking about all of his bad habits. The things that would for sure turn a girl off. Marty does crap all the time that makes me question my health concerns when I sleep with him.” I sat there and thought about what Brooks does that could be a turn off.

“Um, coming up with blanks here.”

“So are you completely turned on right now?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, embarrassed.

“Then go have sex with Mike! Get your mind off of Brooks and on to him!”

“Why am I thinking about Brooks this way though?”

“I don’t know. Maybe your biological clock is reminding you to find a baby daddy soon, and we all know how amazing Brooks is going to be as a father.”

“Okay enough! That’s not helping!”

“Hey, you called me.”

“I know, sorry. I’m just really confused. Red flags are going up everywhere, I don’t even know if I can go back in the house.”

“Then go to Mike’s!” She laughed and I nodded my head. That idea was throwing red flags up too. It wasn’t even 10 AM yet and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep the day away.


Thirty minutes later I found myself knocking on Mike’s door in nothing but a trench coat and stilettos. Which was a stupid idea considering the weather; luckily I didn’t come across any people because they would know for sure what I was up to.

Mike swung the door open and a smile played over his face as he stepped aside and allowed me to walk in. “Are you alone?” I asked running my fingers over his jaw.

“Yup, just me. What are you wearing under there?” He asked with a smirk as he trailed his fingers along the bottom of my coat. I felt like such a slut. Like I was making up to Mike for thinking about dirty, raunchy sex with Brooks. I untied the belt, and pulled the coat open to show him what I was wearing, or in this case what I wasn’t wearing. “Is it my birthday or something?” he laughed running his cold hands up my stomach and cupping my breasts.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you since I left, and I’ve been like this ever since,” I smiled grabbing his hand and placing it between my legs. Two of his fingers immediately bolted up inside of me easily due to my wetness.

“Maybe you should leave and come back more often,” he grinned as he continued his finger assault on me. He pulled his fingers out and rolled my clit around all while kissing along my neck line. The quicker his fingers got the closer I got to an orgasm. When I couldn’t handle it any longer, I pushed his hand away from me. “I need you in me Mike. I need you to fuck me.”

It didn’t take much time for him at all to follow my orders. He ran to his bedroom, grabbed a condom and then shoved me up against the wall. Rough, passionate sex. Screams leaving my lips telling him to go faster and to go harder. My mind was completely gone as I dug my finger nails into his back, feeling my whole body tense before an explosion that would send me to tears.

I couldn’t keep myself up on my own two legs, I had to lean into the wall for support. “Why are you crying?” He breathed out, placing a few fingers under my chin, bringing my eyes up to his. I tried to hide the disappointment when I realized he wasn’t who I thought he was. Mike didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any of this. I completely fucked up.

“I’m sorry Mike, I can’t do this.”

19: Snowflakes In My Eyes

Wednesday and Saturday nights quickly became my nights with Mike. It worked perfectly for us. We would talk on the phone, and I would see him at home games, but on Wednesdays and Saturdays it was just us, hanging out in front of the fireplace doing whatever we pleased. Our biweekly sleep-overs made the weeks fly by, and before I knew it I was supervising Brooks hanging up Christmas lights outside of the house.

"I can hear your teeth chattering all the way up here!" Brooks laughed from his position at the top of the ladder.

"I'm not used to weather this cold! This is fucking cold!"

"It snows in Seattle."

"Rarely! We had a freaky snowstorm last winter, but even when it does snow, it doesn't last more than a week!"

"Well baby, welcome to the east coast!"

I growled as I held the blanket tighter to my body. I probably looked like a snowman with all of the layers I had wrapped around me. "Are you almost done?" I shouted back up at him.

"Yeah, I just need to hang the last of this strand, and then we can go get a tree!"

Getting a tree, that meant spending more time out in the cold. That meant I would have to grab more blankets and more hot chocolate. But going out to get a Christmas tree with Brooks was something we hadn't done together since his last year in junior in 2002. So I sucked it up, and put on a smile, excited to go get our Christmas tree. I watched as he climbed down the ladder and headed into the garage, a moment later the lights flicked on and I smiled. Maybe this year, I'll actually enjoy Christmas. "How's it look?" He asked as he headed my way to join me in the driveway. I couldn't say anything, I just smiled at him. I was almost convinced my mouth froze in place. He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around me as we looked up at the house. "Wow, that's really shitty," he laughed as we both noticed a long stretch of lights were out above the garage. He let me go and began his surgery on the lights, to find the loose one. When he finally found it, I smiled at the picture perfect sight in front of me. White lights trimmed our two story home, snow covered every surface around us, and Brooks, Brooks with that addictive smile wrapped me up in a hug and kissed my forehead. "Ready to go get a tree?" I nodded my head smiling up at him.

After he locked up the house we climbed into his truck we set out on our Christmas tree adventure. “So I have to tell you, this is the first tree I’ve ever had in DC,” Brooks confessed as he navigated his way through the slick streets.

“Really? How come?”

“Well, what was the point of having a tree when it was just me? Or if I was back home? Now I get to have Christmas with my bestie! And we’re getting a tree!”

“Never call me your ‘bestie’ again. I can’t believe you just said that, you sound like a sixteen-year-old girl,” I laughed as I looked over at him and the corner of his mouth curled up.

“Can you believe we met when we were seventeen? Damn near ten years ago.”

“Oh, don’t remind me. I don’t need to know how old I’m getting.”

“We’re aging pretty well don’t you think?”

“Well you are, that’s for damn sure. Me? I don’t know.”

“Oh please, you’re just as beautiful today as you were when I met you, maybe even more.”

I felt myself blush, and wasn’t exactly sure how to take his compliment. “Probably cause I don’t have big ass bangs anymore,” I laughed nervously looking out the side window to see it start snowing again.



I was frolicking through the snow. Yes, frolicking. I felt like the little kid that never got to experience picking out a Christmas tree in the snow before. I was the little kid that’s never had this experience before. I smiled brightly at Brooks as he walked behind me, carrying an ax in hand. “Will you stop dancing and just pick out a tree?” He laughed shaking his head at me.

“You don’t understand Brooks; I’ve never done this before. We’ve always gotten our trees in the Home Depot parking lot.” This caused him to laugh as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug, careful of the ax that was still in his hand.

“Well then, any tree you want. Come on its cold out, let’s pick one out and go home.” I smiled up at him and pulled away from his arms and continued to skip through the tree farm. I turned a corner and stopped upon seeing a beautiful, snow covered tree in front of us. It stood at least nine feet tall and I could already picture it in our living room. “That one?” He asked, his mouth severely close to my ear.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Alright, hold the top for me,” he smiled as he knelt down next to me and began to cut away at the stump. I couldn’t hold back my laughter as all of the snow was falling off, and sliding down the back of his jeans. He squealed a few times, but a minute or two later I felt the tree fall away from me, and I held on as he stood up and grabbed onto the back of his jeans and tried to get the snow out.

“Okay, let’s go, I need to change my pants.” He dragged the tree behind him back up to the farm where we loaded it into the back of his truck. On the drive home, I couldn’t help but look out the back window. A real Christmas tree.



I cleared out a corner of the living room as Brooks prepared the tree in the garage. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face; I was actually enjoying decorating for the holidays. Something I have hated for as long as I could remember, probably because holidays meant the whole family would be together. But now, with it just being Brooks and I, I was enjoying everything we were doing.

Once the tree was in place, I pulled out the dozen or so bags of ornaments we had purchased earlier in the week. Brooks pulled out the lights, and we got to work.

“We don’t have a topper?” I asked after the last ornament was placed on the tree.

“Yeah, actually I do. It’s really old so we have to be careful with it,” he smiled as he bent over a box and pulled out a gold star. This wasn’t any gold star though, this was one the little girl I used to babysit in high school made for him.

“You still have that?” I asked shocked as he handed it to me.

“Of course. I figured I would keep it until I had a daughter of my own to make me a new one.”

I could feel my bones melt as he talked. Minus the underwear incident when I met his teammates, could Brooks be anymore fucking perfect? Excuse my language, but I was in complete awe. I could hear my uterus screaming at me that this guy is supposed to be the father of my children. He plucked the star out of my hand and climbed back on top of the step stool to attach it to the top of the tree.

He stepped back down and folded up the step stool and placed it aside before plugging in the lights. He stood next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we looked at our tree. “Looks good, eh?”

“It does. This might be the first Christmas tree I’ve ever had that I didn’t want to take a baseball bat to,” I laughed as I wrapped my arm around his waist and we stood there in complete silence soaking in the moment. I looked up and smiled at him, and he looked down at me and matched my smile. Our eyes locked and stayed in position as our smiles slowly began to fade. His eyes flicked down to my lips quickly before coming back up to my eyes. He withdrew his arm from around my shoulders and stepped to stand in front of me. My arm that was around his waist slid away, and my hand rested on his hip, on instinct I placed my other hand on his other hip, almost as if I was holding him in place. I glanced at my hands, before running my eyes up his chest and to his face. He looked like he was in pain, like he had just been hip checked into the boards. I could tell he was biting down on the inside of his bottom lip, his nose was flaring and his eyebrows would twitch together before relaxing. He closed his eyes and shook his head before kissing my forehead and walked away. I stood there and looked at our tree that had come back into view for me. What the hell was wrong with him?





“Something’s bothering you,” Mike commented as we settled in on his couch together. I shrugged my shoulders and held the blanket closer to us. “No Veronica, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, just yesterday Brooks and I decorated for Christmas, then we went and got a tree, and then he just disappeared. I haven’t seen him at all today either. Do you know if something is going on? Has he said anything at practice?” I turned my head to look in Mike’s eyes.

“No, hasn’t said anything. Maybe it’s just the stress of the holidays.”

“He doesn’t stress over holidays,” I laughed as I felt his arms around my waist tighten.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the stress of the hockey season, we aren’t exactly spectacular this year.”

I bit my bottom lip and thought about it. It was true; the team wasn’t what they were hoping they would be this year. Sure they were winning games, but not nearly as many as they were hoping too. Brooks though, on a personal level, was having a MVP season. The kid is psychotic on the ice, he’s doing everything he can. Would he just disappear because of hockey though? He hasn’t in the past. “I don’t know. This is new. I’ve never seen this Brooks before.”

“Well whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll get over it soon. Maybe he found himself a girlfriend.”

Girlfriend? No, no there’s way. He would tell me. He would tell me, right? “Has he said anything? Like in the locker room.”

“Even if he has, you know I can’t tell you that. What’s said in the locker room, sta-“

“Stays in the locker room, yeah I know. Damn hockey fools.” I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out to see it was a text message from Jodi, Brooks’ sister. My heart instantly fell. We rarely talked, usually only at family functions. Now with Brooks acting odd and having her text me, I could only think the absolute worst. But bad news wouldn’t come over a text message. I finally opened the message and read it.

I think it’s time to get your eyes checked.

“What?!”

“Hmm? Who is it?”

“Jodi. She told me it’s time to get my eyes checked.”

“Well you’re birthday is only a month away. You, my dear, aren’t getting any younger.”

“Har-har, very funny Mike. She’s older than me though! Who does she think she is throwing old jokes at me?” I laughed as I silenced my phone and tossed it on the ground to fully enjoy my Wednesday night with Mike. He was the only one that didn’t remind me of how old I was getting, and for that I was truly grateful.

18: Transition Into The Present

“Mike! MIKE! Stop!” I ran out of the room following him. It was probably best for him to walk out anyways, because if I wasn’t chasing after him I’d be beating the shit out of his teammate, Eric. I ran outside, only a few yards away from Mike as he made his way to his car. “Would you stop acting like an immature little asshole and talk to me!?”

“An immature asshole? I’m the immature asshole? At least I’m not living with some chick screwing her while I’m dating you! And you call me the asshole? Where the hell do you get off?”

“I’m not screwing Brooks! I don’t want to screw Brooks! For fuck sakes Mike I haven’t even kissed him before! Why the fuck would I want to sleep with him?”

“It’s going to happen, you say you don’t want to, but it will. Unless you’re trying to cover up your lies and you already have. Fuck Veronica, I just can’t be with you with this impression in my head that you guys are supposed to be together.”

“Okay first off Mike, Brooks and I aren’t together, never will be. Second off, we’re not even together. No labels, remember? I’m not ready to fall into another relationship. I’m not ready to fall in love again. I don’t think I ever want to fall in love again.”

“Well then why the fuck are you dragging me along?!” I walked around a black Mercedes that was separating up and stood right in front of him, pressing my finger into his chest.

“You knew from the get-go that what we have isn’t, and wasn’t going to be, serious. You know what I’ve been through, you were there. Did you honestly think I would be ready so soon to start a relationship?”

“Yes I did! Because honestly Veronica, I didn’t think you were that stupid to still dwell over that asshole! I like you, and with every day that we were apart all I could think about was you! The more time I spent away from you the more I missed you and the more I imagined how you might just be the girl that I fall in love with. Fucking hell!” At this point his hand was on his forehead as he began to pace in the short distance between the two cars we were standing in between. “I went to bed early every fucking night just hoping that I would dream of you. I had dreams of introducing you to my family; I had dreams of your body, of your smile, your hair. I even had dreams about you moving in with me! So I need to know, I need to know right now, if I just need to walk away, or if you are going to be in this like I want you to be.”

I was taken aback by his words so much that after I hadn’t said anything for a few moments he stopped pacing and looked at me. “You had dreams about me?”

“Yes, why can’t you see what an amazing girl you are? I honestly think that everyone has a counterpart. Two puzzle pieces that just mold together, flaws and all. I have a lot of flaws, and you have a lot of flaws, but you know what? We even each other out. I know I’m young, but I’ve never felt so strongly toward someone before as I have with you, and it’s fucking killing me that you’re still stuck in the past. Because of one shithead that was lucky enough to have you, he had to go and fuck it up for the rest of us?”

I let out an involuntary sob and held my face in my hands as I cried. Steve really did do a number on me, and I truly didn’t know how to get over it. I felt two arms wrap around me as Mike whispered in my ear that he was sorry. I pulled away from his shoulder and wiped my eyes.

“You shouldn’t be sorry; I’m the one that’s sorry. I’m sorry for everything Mike. For being so difficult, and being so blind. I just, I’m scared. You have to understand that he was my everything for four years, and he is all I know when it comes to relationships. I don’t know any other way.”

“What about Brooks?”

“What about him? He’s been my best friend since the turn of the Stone Age and he’ll be my best friend until I go to my grave. So when you get me, you get him too, and trust me, there’s nothing between us.”

“So what do you say?”

“I say let’s give us a shot.” He brought his hand up and wiped away my remaining tears before kissing me gently on the lips. Was I ready for this? I guess the only way to find out was to just jump in feet first.

“So, let’s take this slow then, eh? We’ll go to dinner, on say Wednesday night?”

“Sounds good to me,” I smiled up at him and he nodded his head, grabbing hold of my hand and dragged me back into the house.

When we walked into the house, the whole living room went silent and I noticed Brooks was missing. I released Mike’s hand and headed into the kitchen where I found him leaning up against the counter, his arms folded over his chest and his head hanging low. “Hey,” I whispered as I walked in further and leaned against the island directly across from him.

“Hey,” he grumbled lifting his head up to look at me.

“So I bet this isn’t exactly the way you wanted me to meet your teammates, but you’re at fault for that.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have told you Eric was down here, but I just wanted to get you back for that one time I walked in on a bunch of girls in just my tighty whities. You’re lucky I gave you my shirt.”

“Wow Brooks, that was like seven years ago!” I laughed and a slight smile spread on his face. As fast as it appeared though, it was gone. “Something’s bothering you, what’s wrong?”

“I’m just not feeling that great, sorry. But hey, the pizza was a hit, I saved you some.” He twisted his upper body and grabbed a plate off the counter and handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I smiled as I picked up a piece and took a bite. For some reason, whenever I cook the food looks amazing, but it just doesn’t taste that great. I placed the slice back down on the plate and set it on the counter behind me.

“So everything okay between you and Mike? It sounded pretty nasty.”

“You heard all of that?”

“Just the immature asshole thing,” he mumbled dropping his head one more time.

“Yeah, I was kind of harsh. We’re okay now though. I think, well I hope. We have a date on Wednesday.”

“Oh great, do I need to give him the ‘talk’ then?”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes before walking out of the kitchen and rejoining the guys in the living room. Eric gave me an apologetic smile, and I nodded in return. It was good enough for me; I knew I wouldn’t receive a verbal apology from him in front of his teammates. I’ve been around hockey players too long to know they just don’t do that.





I don’t understand. I’ve slept with him. I’ve done things with him I could have never imagined before. Why the hell was I so nervous about going out to dinner with him? Why did I feel like an eighteen-year-old girl again? Most of all, why did I feel like a virgin that was about to give up my apple? I inspected my body for a third time, just to make sure there was nothing embarrassing that could possibly ruin the mood. I have to stop reading Cosmo.

There was a light knock on my door and I swung it open quickly, but turned back to my closet. “What’s wrong with you?” Brooks asked laughing. I looked over my shoulder to see him leaning against the door frame, his eyes lurking down around my ass. I quickly snatched a pair of jeans and pulled them on over my underwear.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was nervous?”

“Nervous?! Seriously? Why?”

“I don’t know! It’s an actual date, Mike and I haven’t had a real date yet. We just kind of jumped into bed right away.”

“I don’t need to know that.”

“I wasn’t sharing any spicy details, chill out. I don’t know why I’m nervous. When was the last time I went out on a date?” I turned back to my closet and grabbed a black tank top, tossing that on over my head.

“Um, 2004.”

“Exactly! That’s why I’m nervous!” I pulled out a white cardigan with black trim and tossed that on over my tank top. I pulled on some black riding boots, and figured that was good enough for a first date with a guy I’ve already been sleeping with.

“You look cute.”

“Thanks Brooks, you look cute yourself, I like the sheep on your PJ bottoms.”

“Oh shut up.” I laughed as he as I squeezed my way past him and into the bathroom. I checked my hair over to make sure I didn’t have any kinks and heard the doorbell ring downstairs. “Since when does Mike ring the door bell?” Brooks asked laughing as he headed down the stairs. I was quick on his heels, not wanting to miss out on Mike making fun of Brooks’ pajama pants. They really were kind of terrible. Brooks swung the door open and I froze in place on the last step of the stairs. I turned on my heel and began to trek back up the stairs. “Veronica!” I registered the voice in my head as Mike’s. I slowly turned around and sure enough, there were all three of them standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Steve, what are you doing here?” I asked slowly, not moving from my spot.

“Well, I’m here on vacation, with Ashley. Look, can I talk to you?”

“I was actually just on my way out, Mike and I have reservations. Maybe another time,” I stated firmly as I headed back down the stairs and grabbed onto Mike’s hand dragging him out the front door with me. He squeezed my hand firmly as he held the passenger door open for me. By the time we were on the main road, my eyes finally registered and focused on my hands in my lap. Did that just happen? Was that really Steve I just saw?

“You okay babe?”

“Don’t call me babe.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry Mike. It’s just he called me babe. It’s a long story, I just don’t like it.”

“Okay, I won’t call you that anymore. Now are you okay?”

“I think so, well I hope so. That all just happened so fast. Was he really there? My mind isn’t playing tricks on me is it?”

“No, he was there, and trust me, I wasn’t very happy to see him either.”

I shook my head and pulled my cell phone out of my purse, quickly sending a message to Brooks asking him if he knew Steve was in town.

Scouts honor I did not.

I took a deep breath through my nose and released it through my mouth before looking over at Mike. “You sure you’re okay? We don’t have to go out.”

“Do you think maybe we can just pick something up and take it back to your place? I’m sorry, it’s just, I don’t know how to react right now.”

“That’s perfectly fine. Just let me take him off your mind for you, okay?”

“I would love that.”

He stopped at his favorite Chinese restaurant and ordered pretty much the whole menu before we made our way back to his apartment. Upon arriving at his pad, I went straight for the kitchen and laid out all of the take out containers. I grabbed two plates and began dishing up food for each of us, while he was doing something in the living room. I carried the plates to the other room just as he flipped the switch for the fireplace. The coffee table was shoved up against the couch, and in front of the fireplace were a blanket and a ton of pillows. I smiled brightly at him as he took the plates from me and set them down on the coffee table.

After we were done eating, Mike piled up a bunch of pillows on the wall behind him and lean up against them, holding his arms out for me to crawl between his legs. I sat down between his thighs, and pressed my back against his chest. “Are you ready to talk?”

“About what?” I asked confused. I figured we had cleared everything up a few days prior in the driveway screaming at each other.

“About Steve, and what happened between you guys.”

“Mike, I-“

“No, I want to try and understand. I know I said I would help you forget about him, but I need to know how he got in your head, so I can try and get him out.”

I took a deep breath and rested the back on my head on his shoulder, I felt his lips graze my neck and I closed my eyes. “What do you want to know?”

“How did he propose?”

“The same way he did to Ashley, in front of his whole family.”

“Is that when things began to fall apart?”

“Yeah, once I became his possession, he treated me like one. Told me what to wear, how to do my hair, how long to keep my nails. Every little thing of my life, he controlled. He once tried telling me not to talk to Brooks. I like to call that one the fight of the century.”

“So you stuck up for yourself when it came to Brooks?”

“Of course, if it wasn’t for Brooks, Steve and I would have never met. It’s just this bond that we have, that no one understands, it’s just there. You thought it was bad having me call you an ‘immature asshole’, I called him far worse that day. But then of course, he pulled it around, and made me believe I would be nothing without Brooks. Which was true, he was all I had.”

“That can’t be true.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it was. In high school, the hockey boys were more popular than the football players, so when I became friends with Brooks, I lost all my other friends. I don’t know why, but they were very mean to me from then on. Then just life after that, sure I was dating Steve, and living with Steve, but Brooks was all I had. He was who I ran to when things got really bad with Steve. Then my family abandoned me in Seattle, I broke things off with Steve, and I was back where I started, just Brooks and me.”

“What do you mean when things got really bad with Steve?”

“He was very verbally abusive. If I didn’t curl my hair the right way I was lazy because I didn’t put forth enough effort. If my clothes weren’t in pristine condition he wouldn’t be seen out in public with me because it would embarrass him. Oh and God forbid if I had a zit, I’d be filthy and don’t care about myself, so why would I care about him?”

“You do know you’re none of those things right? And any guy would be damn proud to be seen with you in public?”

I felt myself blush and tear up at his words. I slowly nodded my head, trying to compose myself before I talked. “I know, by the time I left him I was so fed up with everything. I cut ten inches off my hair, dyed it black, went out and bought a pair of sweatpants and didn’t shower for three days. Three days! I felt like a hippie and I loved every minute of it.”

“So if you love the freedom so much, why do you still let him bother you?”

“Because every time I think I’m over him, he shows up. Every time I make a personal break through, I receive a text message, an email, or flowers. It’s frustrating. For some reason though, seeing him tonight, it didn’t affect me like it usually would have. I’m more frustrated than heartbroken. At the family reunion, watching him propose to Ashley, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, it was terrible. I felt like I could have died from the pain. Yet tonight, I’m starting to think I’m finally getting over that hill that I need to get over when it comes to him.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” he whispered in my ear and I smiled as his grip around my waist tightened. As I sat, wrapped up in his arms, thousands of emotions were floating through me. Being here with Mike like this, was something I could get used to, but was it something I wanted to get used to?

17: Meeting The Team

I always wondered if it would hurt to take a frying pan to the nose. If Brooks wasn't careful, he was about to find out. "What do you mean the whole team?!"

"Well I want you to meet them, and I might have been bragging about your food. So it just kind of formed into that."

"So wait, how many guys are on your team?"

"Well not all of them are coming, maybe just twelve of us."

"Twelve!? You eat enough for a family of five, and you want me to cook for twelve of you!? You're out of your fucking mind! That's like cooking for... fuck, what's twelve times five?"

"Sixty."

"SIXTY OF YOU!! Wait, how'd you figure that out so fast?"

"Math, it was my strong point."

I groaned as I placed the frying pan back down on the stove. "I can't believe you. What am I supposed to cook for sixty people?"

"Twelve people, and I don't know. Make your pizza, that would be a big hit."

"That would be like thirty pizzas!" I spun around and rested my hands on the edge of the counter and hung my head. There were too many numbers floating around in my head, and the only one that was sticking out was the number 'sixty'.

"Calm down Niko, it won't be so bad. I'll help you."

"You'll help me cook? For sixty growing boys?"

"I can so make a dirty, unnecessary comment right now about that, but I don't think you're in the mood for crude humor."

"Get out of the kitchen."

"So you'll do it?" I turned back around and looked into his eyes, his bottom lip forced out as far as it could go.

"I'll do it. But you owe me."

"Whiskey?"

"Johnnie Walker."

"Blue Label?"

"Nothing less."

"Done." I walked up to him and pushed him on the chest to get him out of my kitchen. I had less than twenty-four hours to mentally prepare myself to cook for twelve men. Twelve hockey players. What the hell was he thinking?






The guys were set to arrive any minute, and I looked like an insane asylum escapee running around the kitchen. My hair was flipped every which way, the only down side of having short hair. I was almost positive I had a zit forming on my chin, and on top of that I was about eighty-six percent sure I had lost my mind. "Do you need any he-"

"GET OUT!" I tossed the last pizza in the oven and ran past Brooks upstairs to grab a quick shower. I stunk on top of everything too. How nice would that be? To be known as the chick that smells of feminine hygiene products and pizza sauce? Good lord, I'm getting old.

I never knew it was possible to brush your teeth and blow dry your hair at the same time, but somehow, I managed. Once my hair was manageable and my teeth squeaky clean, I ran out of the bathroom and straight into my room to get dressed. I looked in my closet confused. What was I supposed to wear? This would be the first time I would meet his NHL teammates, I had to look somewhat decent. "BROOKS!" I screamed out my door, frightening him as he was only walking down the hall a few feet away.

"What?! Woah, where are your clothes?" I watched as his face turn a few different shades of red as he looked over my new set of matching lingerie.

"That's the problem! Help me! Fuck, no wait! The pizza!" I ran out of my room and made my way to the stairs, but Brooks caught my wrist first. He pulled his T-shirt off and handed it to me. I felt myself blush as I pulled it on over my head and proceeded down the stairs.

As I bent over to pull the pizza out, I heard a low whistle from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and jumped up, dropping the pizza back on the oven tray. "You must be Veronica?"

I turned around to face him and pulled on the bottom of Brooks' shirt to cover my thighs. "And you are?"

"Eric Fehr, I play with Brooks."

"That's nice, um, can you maybe help me and just pull this pizza out and place it on that stone right over there, while I run upstairs real quick? Okay thanks, bye." I continued to tug on the shirt as I ran back up stairs and found Brooks laying out an outfit for me on the bed. I began to pound on his back with my fists.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" I heard him chuckle as he turned around and grabbed my wrists, he held both of them in one hand as he reached down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. "I'm going to need this back before I head downstairs."

I froze. He released my wrists and pulled his shirt up and over my head. I bit down on my bottom lip as I stood in front of him, now just in my underwear. I've been here before, except the last time it was in a fantasy. "You okay?" He asked before he pulled his shirt on.

"Um, yeah. Sorry, I think I've lost it. Now can you go make sure that teammate of yours that I didn't know was here took the pizza out?"

"You're lucky I gave you my shirt, I could have sent you in just your underwear." I pushed him toward the door and he continued to laugh. "I, uh, like the underwear by the way. You look good in lace."

My eyes grew wide as I watched him walk out and shut the door behind him. I looked down at my underwear, noticing for the first time that they were pretty much see-through. Right then I was convinced today was the death of me. I turned around and looked at the clothes he laid out for me. Jeans and a yellow v-neck T-shirt. Simple and easy, just the way I liked it.

By the time I made it back downstairs the living room was full of large men. Brooks walked up to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, handing me my payment for the day. A bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label Whiskey. I brought my eyes up from the bottle and they immediately fell on Mike, he was grinning at me and I could feel my day turning to the upside. I smiled back at him before Brooks whisked me away to meet his teammates.



"There's no way I'll remember everyones name I hope you know."

"I wasn't expecting you too," he laughed as we approached Alexander Ovechkin. When Ovie turned around I verbally gasped and turned beat red. "Alex, this is Veronica. Veronica this is Ovie."

"It's nice to meet you," he greeted me holding his hand out for me to shake. I took his hand in mine, trying desperately to stop starring. It was like a car wreck, I just couldn't look away.

"Ni-nice to meet you too." I was trying my damn hardest to not word vomit. Brooks could sense my sudden loss of brain cells and dragged me away.

"What was that about?" He laughed as we wandered into the kitchen.

"So I knew he was ugly, but oh. My. God. His nose has a bigger curve than a damn boomerang! Are you serious!? That, THAT, is the face of the Washington Capitals?! Oh lord, babe, I'm sorry."

Once Brooks had stopped laughing, we brought the pizza into the living room and everyone dug in. I snuggled in next to Mike on the couch, happy to finally relax and be in his arms. I leaned my face up to his and kissed him gently on the lips. Maybe today wouldn't be the death of me afterall.

"So wait a second," Eric announced pointing his finger at me. "Are you with Brooks or Mike, because it looked like you were with Brooks earlier?"

"What?" Mike snapped out with a chuckle. I felt my ears burning and starred at Eric, trying to mentally scream at him.

"Well when I got here she was in panties and Brooks' T-shirt, I just assumed. Obviously wrong."

I felt Mike stiffen next to me, and then his arm around my shoulders lift away. I looked over at him to see what he was doing, but it was too late, he was already standing up and walking away.

16: Not Ready

Lying on the bed in the doctor’s office, I allowed Brooks and the doctor to discuss my well being. I was too out of it to converse with them. “Well it’s definitely the flu, she just needs to rest and drink lots of fluids.” I rolled my eyes at the doctor stating the obvious. I would have rolled my eyes a second time at Brooks for bringing me here, but I couldn’t find the strength.

“Are you sure it’s not the swine flu? Can we check for it?” I sat up on the bed and looked at Brooks annoyed. He wasn’t serious.

“No, I don’t believe her symptoms are severe enough to consider H1N1. If she doesn’t get any better within the next few days, I would bring her back in though.” I took this as my sign that my time with the doctor was over so I jumped down from the bed. “Well Veronica, you have a great boyfriend here-“

“Oh, I’m not her boyfriend,” Brooks cut in with a slight chuckle. His words caused something I thought I would never feel from Brooks before and that was heartbreak. He said it so easily, and with a laugh, like a relationship with me would be a joke. That’s when I knew I had to put this whole thing I was feeling for Brooks to rest. It was just a fantasy, one I needed to get over quickly.

“Well either way, you’re doing everything right. So, just rest and lots of fluids. I hope you feel better soon.”

I smiled weakly at the doctor and followed Brooks out of the room. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and pulled me tight to him as we walked out. I wanted to push him away, far away, but just thinking about physically forcing him away made my body ache.

Back at the house, he forced me to just relax on the couch and to not worry about anything. He really emphasized on anything, it was like he could read my mind. But I don’t want him to do that, because then he could see the current dilemma in my head about him. How I wanted him . . .? Suddenly thinking about him in a sexual way grossed me out. I hated being sick.

I saw my phone illuminate and then begin to vibrate on the coffee table in front of me and contemplated ignoring it, but at the last second I bent over and grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Hey, how are you? I texted you this morning but didn’t get anything back, everything okay?” I smiled at Mike’s concern.

“Yeah, sorry, Brooks took me to the doctor. He’s paranoid about this swine flu thing; well it’s not swine flu, just the flu.”

“Well I hope you start feeling better soon. I hate that you’re sick and I’m not there.”

I suddenly wanted to start talking about us. I wanted to go back on my word, make this thing with Mike serious. My biological clock was obviously screaming at me with this sickness. Twenty-six years old with only two guys on my radar. Mike and Brooks. My body was screaming at me to have a relationship with Mike, but did I want that for the right reasons? Or because I couldn’t have one with Brooks? My mind was spinning, and I couldn’t get it to stop. “I hope so too,” I mumbled as Brooks joined me on the couch and looked at me curiously. “Well Mike, I think I’m going to take a nap. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright babe, feel better.” I snapped my phone shut and tossed it back onto the coffee table.

“Everything okay?” Brooks asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders once again. I pulled away from him and got up from the couch.

“I just don’t like being called babe, you know that. I’m gonna head to bed.” I wasn’t tired, sure I was drowsy, and I was plenty comfortable on the couch. That was until Brooks draped his arm over my shoulders, and my mind went on overdrive. I wanted to be near him, I wanted to touch him. Yet at the same time, I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him. It was going to make my mind explode.

I walked into my room and collapsed on my bed. I wanted a clear mind. I didn’t want thoughts of Brooks or Mike or even the flu. I just wanted to stare up at my ceiling and be at peace.

I grabbed my iPod off my nightstand and shoved the earphones in my ears. Music and cold medicine, that's exactly what I needed to clear my head. At least for now. I strolled through my playlists, well the two I had. Mike and Brooks, the playlists they had created for me. That didn't do me any good, so I went back through the artists, suddenly wanting to listen to something that would make me cry. To just purge all of the emotions I had pent up inside. I needed girl music. When the tune filled my ears I looked down at my iPod, Chicago. CHICAGO?! “Oh, you’re fucking kidding me,” I grumbled to myself as I was half tempted to change the song, but my fingers went to it for a reason, so I allowed myself to get lost in the words.

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I want you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

I groaned as I picked my iPod back up and searched for a new song, one that wouldn’t remind me of the man a few yards away from me. My fingers floated to the next song, and I rested my head against the pillows and closed my eyes.

I am ready for love why are you hiding from me?
I’d quickly give my freedom to be held in your captivity
I am ready for love all of the joy and pain
And all the time that it takes just to stay in your good grace
Lately I’ve been thinking maybe you’re not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow I’ll say the same thing
I am ready for love would you please lend me your ears
I promise I won’t complain I just need you to acknowledge I am here
If you give me half a chance I will prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music a man who loves art
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart
I am ready for love if you’ll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach and do the best I can
I am ready for love here with an offering arm
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind
Tell me what is enough to prove I am ready for love
I am ready

“I’m not ready!” I cried out as hot tears rolled down my cheeks and into my ears. I picked up my iPod and placed the India Arie song on repeat. “I don’t know what the fuck I want.” I felt my bed dip down and I shook my head, trying to convince myself I was imagining it. I felt my left earphone come out of my ear, and then the tears on that side of my face were wiped away.

“Why are you crying Niko? What’s wrong?”

“Moving here was a mistake,” I blurted out as I finally opened my eyes and looked up at him hovering over me.

“Why do you say that?”

“It just was. I’m sorry Brooks. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you’re just not feeling good. Have you taken anything?”

I nodded my head, feeling my brain spin at a ridiculous speed. I didn’t know what I wanted. Why did I have to want something? Why couldn’t I just be content with nothing. Nothing. That’s what I had before I moved to DC. That’s what I want to go back to.





Around the beginning of September I was back to my healthy self, and kept myself occupied by experimenting in the kitchen. Brooks and our neighbor, Dolly, being my taste testers. Dolly, a very sweet and very kind seventy-year-old woman was my newest escape. Having the flu was just playing mind games on me, it was a psychological drug. Everything had stopped the morning I woke up in a pool of sweat. My fever gone, my body aches gone, my feelings toward Brooks more than friends . . . gone. It was like not only was the flu gone, but the weight on my shoulders and all the stress holding me down was gone. I was convinced it was just my body’s reaction to the flu, I blew everything up. I was, to say it lightly, out of my mind.

“What smells so good?” I heard Dolly yell from outside the kitchen window. I looked out and smiled at her, as I opened the side door for her to come in. She smiled brightly at me as she walked into the kitchen and took her usual seat at the breakfast bar, just on the other side of the stovetop where I had some crabs boiling. “So what are you making?” She asked as she tried to peak into the pot.

“Cioppino.”

“Chu-what?”

I laughed as she scrunched her face together. “Cioppino. It’s a seafood stew. I’m trying to remember my grandmother’s recipe as I go. I guess we’ll find out when we’re done.” I checked on the crab, and they were still at the bottom of the pot, so I knew I still had some more time before they were done.

“Where’s this handsome man of yours?”

“How many times have I told you, he’s not mine?” I laughed and glanced over at her just in time to see her roll her eyes. Not even someone stating we were together could bring back those feelings I was once feeling for him. It was all made up in my imagination. “He should be back any minute from the gym.”

“And when do I get to meet this Mike boy you talk so much about? I won’t believe anything you say about him until I see him shirtless!”

“Dolly!” I laughed as I turned back to the crabs, still not done.

“What? I’m a widow, I’m allowed to look!”

“Well everyone is due to be back in town at the end of next week. So, probably then.”

“Or probably now,” I spun around at the sound of his voice.

“What are you doing here!?” I shrieked as I ran into Mike’s arms. He lifted me up in his arms and I ripped his hat off so I could kiss him without it getting in the way. “Miss me much?” He mumbled against my lips and I heard both Brooks and Dolly clear their throats.

“I guess I did,” I laughed as he set me back down and I dragged him over to Dolly. “Dolly this is Mike, Mike this is our neighbor Dolly,” I introduced the two and Dolly’s eyes ran up and down his body. I tried to stifle a laugh, but it found its way through my lips anyways.

“A little soft.” Both Brooks and I began to laugh when the words left her mouth. A little soft, she has no idea.

“That’s what I like about him though,” I smiled as I patted my hand on his stomach. Scratch that, his rock hard abs. He obviously had been working out over the summer.

“What are you cooking?” Brooks asked as he poked at the crabs that were now floating at the surface, letting me know they were all cooked and ready to go.

“Cio-“

“A seafood stew,” Dolly interrupted me with a chuckle.

“Yes, seafood stew, and since the crabs are done, it should be ready shortly.”

Once I had the stew all mixed together and looking edible, I dished up three bowls and set them down on the breakfast bar. I took a step back and waited for their verdict. They looked back and forth between each other, almost as if they were scared to try it, but Brooks was the first one to dig in. Then Dolly took a spoon full, and Mike followed cautiously. I hadn’t told him about my kitchen experiment, and here he was being thrown head first into it.

“What the fuck?!” Brooks shouted after he took his first bite. Dolly glared at him for his language and I looked at him knowing what was coming next. It was terrible. Brooks knew to tell me if something sucked or not, after all he was paying me for the food he eats, so why make something he doesn’t like? “Where did you learn how to cook like this?” Instead of the sound of disgust in his voice, it was one of admiration. I brought my eyes up from my apron to meet his; a sly smile sprawled out on his face.

“What?”

“This, did you follow a recipe?”

“No, it’s all from memory,” I stated slowly as I continued to watch him eat it. Well he didn’t say if he liked it or not, but I continued to watch as all three of them devoured their bowls, Mike and Brooks looking for more. “Seriously? It was that good?” I asked shocked as I poured some for myself into a mug before refilling their bowls.

“I might have to steal you away,” Mike smiled before kissing the back of my neck gently before returning to his stool.

“Sweetie, you should think about making a cook book,” Dolly chimed in as she rinsed out her bowl. “Well Wheel of Fortune is about to come on, I’ll leave you kiddies alone. Bye Veronica.”

“Bye Dolly!” I smiled to her as I held the door open for her and she left. I turned back around and grinned at Mike who was still eating. “So, what? You couldn’t call to tell me you were coming today?”

“No, I wanted to surprise you, and the look on your face was worth it.” I grinned and actually felt myself blush. I looked around the kitchen to see Brooks had disappeared somewhere, his bowl, empty and in the sink. I shrugged my shoulders and began to work on the dishes until I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

“I’m not soft,” he groaned in my ear and I pressed my butt into his crotch to tease him.

“I know that,” I replied as I turned around in his arms and nipped at his bottom lip.

“I want you to be my girlfriend Veronica.” I pulled my mouth away from his neck and looked up into his eyes.

“Why?”

“Because I want you for myself. Call me selfish, I don’t care, but I don’t want to think about you with other guys.”

“Trust me, there are no other guys.”

“You live with one.”

“Brooks!? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious. He’s a great guy, you are an amazing woman. You guys have known each other for years. I don’t know exactly what I’m saying, maybe he’s a better fit for you than I am? I don’t know. But I just want you for myself, I don’t want you falling in love with anyone else. I want you falling in love with me.”

Fuck. Here I stood wanting to kick him out. After Steve, I would never fall in love again, simple as that. Life was so much easier when you didn’t have that to worry about. What was wrong with casual sex? Why did it have to be more? The more I wanted to kick him out the angrier I became with myself. I wasn’t going to kid myself, I wanted to get laid. It had been a few weeks, and with him wrapped up in my arms, I could smell sex radiating off of us. Yet he said the ‘L’ word. He went there. He sprung it on me unexpectedly. He didn’t say he was in love with me, he said he wanted me to fall in love with him. Who the hell says that? When I brought my eyes back up to his, sex overpowered love.

“Can we go back to your place?” I whispered as I leaned up and pressed my lips against his one more time. He nodded his head and pulled away from me to grab his keys. I looked around the kitchen and figured everything could wait until morning, and if Brooks wanted more to eat, it was there for him. I left him a note on our white board attached to the fridge and took Mike’s hand in mine as we made our way outside. I laughed to myself as we walked to his car in the driveway.

Fall in love? I’m not ready for love.