15: Time To Figure Things Out

His tongue brushed over the inside of my bottom lip and I inhaled sharply, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck. His lips fit perfectly against mine, like I always imagined they would. They were plump, warm, wet and very inviting. I ran my hand down his bare chest and grabbed onto the belt looped through his jeans. I pulled his body closer to mine, feeling him crush down on me ever harder. “I love you,” he mumbled against my lips and I felt myself smile. How long had I been waiting to hear him say those words to me in a non-friendly manner. I snagged at his bottom lip, intensifying the kiss.

The longer he kissed me, the faster my heart beat went. I could feel his own heart beating against my chest as well. I tossed my left leg around his waist, pulling him even tighter to me if that was even possible. Our heart beats together created a beautiful, rhythmic drumming song. One that we could dance to, one that only we could understand. It was our love song.

He pulled his mouth away from mine and looked into my hazy eyes. Goose bumps formed all over my body at the intensity of his stare. I was breathing heavy, inching my mouth closer up to his. I just wanted to bite into his sweet flesh. He met me half way in a hot, short, hungry kiss. One that two people would share after being away from one another for too long. One that two people would share when the sexual tension is so thick you would sink into it like the tar pits. “I love you too,” I mumbled back before running my hands back up his chest and to his short, buzzed hair.

I arched my chest into his, telepathically telling him that I wanted him, and I wanted him now. “Brooks,” I moaned against his lips, trying to make his hands move from my hips. I wanted them to roam my body, not stay stationary. “Niko?”

“Now, Brooks. Come on baby. I’ve waited too long.” I ran my hands back down his chest and grabbed onto his belt once again, this time unbuckling it.

“Niko.”

I shook my head. He’s a man, and I need a man right now. It’s an added bonus that it’s my best friend. The best friend I had suddenly formed a fascination with. The best friend I found myself falling in love with.

“NIKO!”

I jumped up from the couch and looked up to see Brooks standing over me, laughing. “You were moaning in your sleep. Was it good or bad?” I grabbed the blanket that was gathered around my waist and pulled it up over my head. “Come on Niko, don’t be shy. Was it good or bad? Should I try your cold medicine? Maybe have some dirty dreams of my own?” I wanted him to stop talking. If he only knew I was dreaming about him, he’d stop talking. “Niko,” he sung out as I felt him sit down behind my head. I pulled the blanket away from my face, but refused to look at him. “Nightmare?”

“Not exactly,” I whispered and felt another wave of nausea wash over me. I leaped from the couch and stumbled into the bathroom. Moments later my hair was swept away from my face, and a cold wash cloth rested on the back of my neck. “Why are you so perfect?” I blurted out reaching for the toilet paper to wipe my mouth clean. I stood up from leaning over the toilet and grabbed my toothbrush.

“I’m far from perfect,” he announced as he leaned back against the sink, watching me closely.

“What time is it?” I asked after I finished brushing my teeth.

“Just before nine.”

“PM?!” I shrieked.

“Yeah, it was good for you to sleep all day. They say rest is the best thing to do when you have the flu.”

“What did you eat?” I asked in fear.

“I made pasta, don’t worry. I do know how to cook some things. Well I made pasta for lunch, and then had the leftovers for dinner. Anyways, are you hungry, do you want anything?”

Just the thought of food made my stomach flip once again, and I quickly bent back over the toilet. “Why don’t you take some more medicine and go back to bed?” Brooks suggested after I brushed my teeth for a second time in ten minutes. I nodded my head and sat back down on the couch. He poured a dose of NyQuil and I took it like a shot. I felt my eyelids grow heavy with each passing minute, and I felt myself collapse on Brooks and allow sleep to consume my body.





I found comfort in bed when I woke up the following morning. I was surrounded by warmth and mounds of pillows. Yet I couldn’t move, my body was hurting so badly. I felt a tight squeeze around my body and then became aware of the warm breath on the back of my neck. I poked my eyes open and looked around the room. I was in Brooks’ room and those pillows behind me weren’t pillows at all. It was Brooks.

“Brooks, you’re going to get sick,” I stated as I slowly inched my way up and out of bed.

“No,” he groaned tightening his grip around me, pulling me back down on the bed. It was no use, if we slept side by side all night, he’s probably already sick. But then part of me just had to get out of bed. It was the burning sensation around my waist where his arm was that was screaming at me to get out. To get out now. We’ve slept in the same bed hundreds of times before, but only once has he snuggled up this close to me, and that was when we were both extremely drunk. I had to distance myself away from him. I had to do something before I pounced him. Pounce him?! Now I want to pounce him? Oh dear lord.

I lay in bed, stiff as a board. Brooks’ knees hit mine, causing them to bend, and he fit perfectly behind me. As if our bodies blended together perfectly. “Go back to sleep,” he murmured and his breath against my neck sent goose bumps all over my body. I pinched my eyes shut and began counting sheep. I had to get my mind off of the current situation I was in. How the hell . . .?

When I woke up again a few hours later, I was alone, thankfully. I was also feeling twenty times worst than I was the night before. I groaned as I rolled over onto my other side, away from the door and held the comforter close to my body. His bed felt like a cloud. I was surrounded by white fluffiness. “Good morning,” I heard him announce from behind me. The bed dipped down and the back of his hand quickly found my forehead. “I’m thinking maybe we should get you to the doctor. Make sure it’s not swine flu.”

“It’s not swine flu. It’s just the flu.”

“How do you know? When did you get your PhD? I didn’t receive a graduation announcement.”

“Okay smart ass. I don’t smell like bacon so I’m fine.”

“I’m calling the doctor. You should probably take a shower.”

“Do I smell?”

“No but I would think after having sex in your dreams last night that you might want to shower. I’m just saying.” I felt the bed lift back up and he walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes, but knew he was right. Well that I needed a shower; I knew it might help me feel a little bit better.

The hot water pouring over my head did nothing more than make me sway back and forth, trying my damn hardest to stay awake. It took every square inch of my body to find the energy to wash my hair. I stared the conditioner bottle down, dreading going through the process a second time. “Niko, you okay?” I heard Brooks’ voice fill the bathroom.

“No, but I will be.”

“Do you need help?”

“You think I’m stupid Brooks? You’ve been trying to see me naked for years now, and now you’re trying to take advantage because of my health?” I laughed suddenly finding my second wind.

“Hey, it was worth the shot, and you have to give me credit for it.”

“Yeah whatever, I’ll be out in a minute.” I heard the door click shut and let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Only a thin shower curtain separated us. Where the hell were these feelings coming from?

Back in my bedroom, I pulled on some sweatpants and a Capitals t-shirt. When you have the flu you’re allowed to wear whatever the hell you want, and I was taking full advantage of that. I slowly climbed down the stairs and saw my phone blinking green, alerting me of a message. I pulled my messages up and smiled when I saw it was from Mike.

Mike. Just thinking about him made me giggle.

Hey beautiful, how are you feeling?

“You ready?” Brooks asked joining me in the living room. I looked up at him and all of those previous thoughts were washed out of my mind. I had Mike. Young, vulnerable Mike. Well vulnerable might be a stretch. But, the inevitable big but, Mike couldn’t give me what I knew Brooks could. I know I told Mike I don’t want anything serious, and that was pretty spot on, but I wanted to know that sometime in the future I could have serious. You ready?

“No!” I cried out, confusion washed all over my body.

“Wh-what!?” He asked looking at me in fear.

“I’m not ready Brooks. I never will be.”

“For. The. Doc-tor?”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m sorry.” He gave me a questionable look but I just walked past him straight to the garage. I climbed into the passenger seat of his truck and waited patiently for him. He emerged from the house and I watched as he climbed into the driver’s seat. The sunlight from outside filling the garage as the garage door crawled open. As the light crawled up his face I knew I had to be ready. I had to be ready to figure my shit out. I had to figure out what the hell was going on in my heart.