18: Transition Into The Present

“Mike! MIKE! Stop!” I ran out of the room following him. It was probably best for him to walk out anyways, because if I wasn’t chasing after him I’d be beating the shit out of his teammate, Eric. I ran outside, only a few yards away from Mike as he made his way to his car. “Would you stop acting like an immature little asshole and talk to me!?”

“An immature asshole? I’m the immature asshole? At least I’m not living with some chick screwing her while I’m dating you! And you call me the asshole? Where the hell do you get off?”

“I’m not screwing Brooks! I don’t want to screw Brooks! For fuck sakes Mike I haven’t even kissed him before! Why the fuck would I want to sleep with him?”

“It’s going to happen, you say you don’t want to, but it will. Unless you’re trying to cover up your lies and you already have. Fuck Veronica, I just can’t be with you with this impression in my head that you guys are supposed to be together.”

“Okay first off Mike, Brooks and I aren’t together, never will be. Second off, we’re not even together. No labels, remember? I’m not ready to fall into another relationship. I’m not ready to fall in love again. I don’t think I ever want to fall in love again.”

“Well then why the fuck are you dragging me along?!” I walked around a black Mercedes that was separating up and stood right in front of him, pressing my finger into his chest.

“You knew from the get-go that what we have isn’t, and wasn’t going to be, serious. You know what I’ve been through, you were there. Did you honestly think I would be ready so soon to start a relationship?”

“Yes I did! Because honestly Veronica, I didn’t think you were that stupid to still dwell over that asshole! I like you, and with every day that we were apart all I could think about was you! The more time I spent away from you the more I missed you and the more I imagined how you might just be the girl that I fall in love with. Fucking hell!” At this point his hand was on his forehead as he began to pace in the short distance between the two cars we were standing in between. “I went to bed early every fucking night just hoping that I would dream of you. I had dreams of introducing you to my family; I had dreams of your body, of your smile, your hair. I even had dreams about you moving in with me! So I need to know, I need to know right now, if I just need to walk away, or if you are going to be in this like I want you to be.”

I was taken aback by his words so much that after I hadn’t said anything for a few moments he stopped pacing and looked at me. “You had dreams about me?”

“Yes, why can’t you see what an amazing girl you are? I honestly think that everyone has a counterpart. Two puzzle pieces that just mold together, flaws and all. I have a lot of flaws, and you have a lot of flaws, but you know what? We even each other out. I know I’m young, but I’ve never felt so strongly toward someone before as I have with you, and it’s fucking killing me that you’re still stuck in the past. Because of one shithead that was lucky enough to have you, he had to go and fuck it up for the rest of us?”

I let out an involuntary sob and held my face in my hands as I cried. Steve really did do a number on me, and I truly didn’t know how to get over it. I felt two arms wrap around me as Mike whispered in my ear that he was sorry. I pulled away from his shoulder and wiped my eyes.

“You shouldn’t be sorry; I’m the one that’s sorry. I’m sorry for everything Mike. For being so difficult, and being so blind. I just, I’m scared. You have to understand that he was my everything for four years, and he is all I know when it comes to relationships. I don’t know any other way.”

“What about Brooks?”

“What about him? He’s been my best friend since the turn of the Stone Age and he’ll be my best friend until I go to my grave. So when you get me, you get him too, and trust me, there’s nothing between us.”

“So what do you say?”

“I say let’s give us a shot.” He brought his hand up and wiped away my remaining tears before kissing me gently on the lips. Was I ready for this? I guess the only way to find out was to just jump in feet first.

“So, let’s take this slow then, eh? We’ll go to dinner, on say Wednesday night?”

“Sounds good to me,” I smiled up at him and he nodded his head, grabbing hold of my hand and dragged me back into the house.

When we walked into the house, the whole living room went silent and I noticed Brooks was missing. I released Mike’s hand and headed into the kitchen where I found him leaning up against the counter, his arms folded over his chest and his head hanging low. “Hey,” I whispered as I walked in further and leaned against the island directly across from him.

“Hey,” he grumbled lifting his head up to look at me.

“So I bet this isn’t exactly the way you wanted me to meet your teammates, but you’re at fault for that.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have told you Eric was down here, but I just wanted to get you back for that one time I walked in on a bunch of girls in just my tighty whities. You’re lucky I gave you my shirt.”

“Wow Brooks, that was like seven years ago!” I laughed and a slight smile spread on his face. As fast as it appeared though, it was gone. “Something’s bothering you, what’s wrong?”

“I’m just not feeling that great, sorry. But hey, the pizza was a hit, I saved you some.” He twisted his upper body and grabbed a plate off the counter and handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I smiled as I picked up a piece and took a bite. For some reason, whenever I cook the food looks amazing, but it just doesn’t taste that great. I placed the slice back down on the plate and set it on the counter behind me.

“So everything okay between you and Mike? It sounded pretty nasty.”

“You heard all of that?”

“Just the immature asshole thing,” he mumbled dropping his head one more time.

“Yeah, I was kind of harsh. We’re okay now though. I think, well I hope. We have a date on Wednesday.”

“Oh great, do I need to give him the ‘talk’ then?”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes before walking out of the kitchen and rejoining the guys in the living room. Eric gave me an apologetic smile, and I nodded in return. It was good enough for me; I knew I wouldn’t receive a verbal apology from him in front of his teammates. I’ve been around hockey players too long to know they just don’t do that.





I don’t understand. I’ve slept with him. I’ve done things with him I could have never imagined before. Why the hell was I so nervous about going out to dinner with him? Why did I feel like an eighteen-year-old girl again? Most of all, why did I feel like a virgin that was about to give up my apple? I inspected my body for a third time, just to make sure there was nothing embarrassing that could possibly ruin the mood. I have to stop reading Cosmo.

There was a light knock on my door and I swung it open quickly, but turned back to my closet. “What’s wrong with you?” Brooks asked laughing. I looked over my shoulder to see him leaning against the door frame, his eyes lurking down around my ass. I quickly snatched a pair of jeans and pulled them on over my underwear.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was nervous?”

“Nervous?! Seriously? Why?”

“I don’t know! It’s an actual date, Mike and I haven’t had a real date yet. We just kind of jumped into bed right away.”

“I don’t need to know that.”

“I wasn’t sharing any spicy details, chill out. I don’t know why I’m nervous. When was the last time I went out on a date?” I turned back to my closet and grabbed a black tank top, tossing that on over my head.

“Um, 2004.”

“Exactly! That’s why I’m nervous!” I pulled out a white cardigan with black trim and tossed that on over my tank top. I pulled on some black riding boots, and figured that was good enough for a first date with a guy I’ve already been sleeping with.

“You look cute.”

“Thanks Brooks, you look cute yourself, I like the sheep on your PJ bottoms.”

“Oh shut up.” I laughed as he as I squeezed my way past him and into the bathroom. I checked my hair over to make sure I didn’t have any kinks and heard the doorbell ring downstairs. “Since when does Mike ring the door bell?” Brooks asked laughing as he headed down the stairs. I was quick on his heels, not wanting to miss out on Mike making fun of Brooks’ pajama pants. They really were kind of terrible. Brooks swung the door open and I froze in place on the last step of the stairs. I turned on my heel and began to trek back up the stairs. “Veronica!” I registered the voice in my head as Mike’s. I slowly turned around and sure enough, there were all three of them standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Steve, what are you doing here?” I asked slowly, not moving from my spot.

“Well, I’m here on vacation, with Ashley. Look, can I talk to you?”

“I was actually just on my way out, Mike and I have reservations. Maybe another time,” I stated firmly as I headed back down the stairs and grabbed onto Mike’s hand dragging him out the front door with me. He squeezed my hand firmly as he held the passenger door open for me. By the time we were on the main road, my eyes finally registered and focused on my hands in my lap. Did that just happen? Was that really Steve I just saw?

“You okay babe?”

“Don’t call me babe.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry Mike. It’s just he called me babe. It’s a long story, I just don’t like it.”

“Okay, I won’t call you that anymore. Now are you okay?”

“I think so, well I hope so. That all just happened so fast. Was he really there? My mind isn’t playing tricks on me is it?”

“No, he was there, and trust me, I wasn’t very happy to see him either.”

I shook my head and pulled my cell phone out of my purse, quickly sending a message to Brooks asking him if he knew Steve was in town.

Scouts honor I did not.

I took a deep breath through my nose and released it through my mouth before looking over at Mike. “You sure you’re okay? We don’t have to go out.”

“Do you think maybe we can just pick something up and take it back to your place? I’m sorry, it’s just, I don’t know how to react right now.”

“That’s perfectly fine. Just let me take him off your mind for you, okay?”

“I would love that.”

He stopped at his favorite Chinese restaurant and ordered pretty much the whole menu before we made our way back to his apartment. Upon arriving at his pad, I went straight for the kitchen and laid out all of the take out containers. I grabbed two plates and began dishing up food for each of us, while he was doing something in the living room. I carried the plates to the other room just as he flipped the switch for the fireplace. The coffee table was shoved up against the couch, and in front of the fireplace were a blanket and a ton of pillows. I smiled brightly at him as he took the plates from me and set them down on the coffee table.

After we were done eating, Mike piled up a bunch of pillows on the wall behind him and lean up against them, holding his arms out for me to crawl between his legs. I sat down between his thighs, and pressed my back against his chest. “Are you ready to talk?”

“About what?” I asked confused. I figured we had cleared everything up a few days prior in the driveway screaming at each other.

“About Steve, and what happened between you guys.”

“Mike, I-“

“No, I want to try and understand. I know I said I would help you forget about him, but I need to know how he got in your head, so I can try and get him out.”

I took a deep breath and rested the back on my head on his shoulder, I felt his lips graze my neck and I closed my eyes. “What do you want to know?”

“How did he propose?”

“The same way he did to Ashley, in front of his whole family.”

“Is that when things began to fall apart?”

“Yeah, once I became his possession, he treated me like one. Told me what to wear, how to do my hair, how long to keep my nails. Every little thing of my life, he controlled. He once tried telling me not to talk to Brooks. I like to call that one the fight of the century.”

“So you stuck up for yourself when it came to Brooks?”

“Of course, if it wasn’t for Brooks, Steve and I would have never met. It’s just this bond that we have, that no one understands, it’s just there. You thought it was bad having me call you an ‘immature asshole’, I called him far worse that day. But then of course, he pulled it around, and made me believe I would be nothing without Brooks. Which was true, he was all I had.”

“That can’t be true.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it was. In high school, the hockey boys were more popular than the football players, so when I became friends with Brooks, I lost all my other friends. I don’t know why, but they were very mean to me from then on. Then just life after that, sure I was dating Steve, and living with Steve, but Brooks was all I had. He was who I ran to when things got really bad with Steve. Then my family abandoned me in Seattle, I broke things off with Steve, and I was back where I started, just Brooks and me.”

“What do you mean when things got really bad with Steve?”

“He was very verbally abusive. If I didn’t curl my hair the right way I was lazy because I didn’t put forth enough effort. If my clothes weren’t in pristine condition he wouldn’t be seen out in public with me because it would embarrass him. Oh and God forbid if I had a zit, I’d be filthy and don’t care about myself, so why would I care about him?”

“You do know you’re none of those things right? And any guy would be damn proud to be seen with you in public?”

I felt myself blush and tear up at his words. I slowly nodded my head, trying to compose myself before I talked. “I know, by the time I left him I was so fed up with everything. I cut ten inches off my hair, dyed it black, went out and bought a pair of sweatpants and didn’t shower for three days. Three days! I felt like a hippie and I loved every minute of it.”

“So if you love the freedom so much, why do you still let him bother you?”

“Because every time I think I’m over him, he shows up. Every time I make a personal break through, I receive a text message, an email, or flowers. It’s frustrating. For some reason though, seeing him tonight, it didn’t affect me like it usually would have. I’m more frustrated than heartbroken. At the family reunion, watching him propose to Ashley, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, it was terrible. I felt like I could have died from the pain. Yet tonight, I’m starting to think I’m finally getting over that hill that I need to get over when it comes to him.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” he whispered in my ear and I smiled as his grip around my waist tightened. As I sat, wrapped up in his arms, thousands of emotions were floating through me. Being here with Mike like this, was something I could get used to, but was it something I wanted to get used to?