14: Clarification and Confusion

After a week of amazing sex and neglecting my unpacking, I kissed Mike goodbye at the airport. “I’ll see you in a few weeks, okay?” I nodded my head before pressing my lips to his once again. “Don’t go falling in love on me,” he laughed as he turned to walk away from me. I didn’t want him to leave, but I also wanted to get my things unpacked. I knew there was no way I could focus on anything with him in my bed. He glanced over his shoulder and waved and I returned his gesture with a slight smile. I turned my back and climbed back into Brooks’ truck to head back home.

He sat in the driver’s seat and sighed deeply before pulling back out into traffic. “Was it that bad?” I asked laughing once he pulled onto the highway.

“Um, no, but I think we need to go over some house rules.”

“Rules?”

“Yeah, like no sex in the middle of the day when other people in the house can hear it. That was a little much for me, especially since you won’t have sex with me, I have to imagine it in my head, and when you’re yelling Mike’s name, it ruins the whole scenario in my head. So no sex where it can mentally disrupt me.”

I felt myself blush, and I ducked my head down. I knew we were nothing but quiet, but I didn’t know Brooks was listening in. “Um, yeah, okay. Sorry.”

“Hungry?”

“After that conversation, not really, but okay.”

We headed back toward his- our house and ended up at a diner a few blocks away. Now, all of a sudden with Mike gone, and it just being Brooks and I, my mind began to wander. Would this be the diner where-

“Are you coming?” He asked laughing snapping me out of my daydream. I nodded my head trying to hide my blush as I jumped out of his truck and followed him inside.

“You really are smitten. Where is the Niko that thought Mike was repulsive a few months ago?” Brooks asked after we sat down in a classic red vinyl booth. I grabbed a menu and held it up in front of me, ignoring his question. I didn’t know how to answer it. I didn’t even know. Yeah it was true I didn’t like Mike a whole lot to start out with, but I guess from the first time we kissed I was hooked. I wanted more. His hand came up and pushed my menu down onto the table. “Answer me Niko. Are you serious about him?”

“Serious?” I spat out before laughing nervously. “No, not serious.”

“Alright, I’m gonna have to go there. You’re my best friend, you have been for a long time. Mike is my best friend. He’s what I have during the long hockey season. I need you to look through my eyes right now. I asked him if he was serious about you. If he wanted a relationship with you. He does Niko. He wants a relationship. You don’t. Can you see this possible train wreck that is playing out in my mind?”

I sat there and thought about what this was like for Brooks. Yeah I can understand what he is trying to say, it could eventually be a very large train wreck. “I guess I need to talk to him then. I was worried because of the age difference, being nearly four years apart, which is huge in your twenties. I had a feeling that might affect what we were looking for. I will talk to him, okay?”

“About what though? What will you say?”

“I need him to know that this isn’t serious, and it may not ever be serious. I just want to have fun, and having a young guy in my bed is fun.” His face fell and he looked down at his fingers and began picking at his nails. I said something he didn’t like. He only does that when he hears something he doesn’t like. Fuck. “Brooks.” I got up from my seat and walked over to his, sliding in next to him. “I need you to be straight up with me right now. Are you okay with Mike and I being together?”

Before he could answer, our waitress arrived to take our order. He looked away from me and down at his menu, ordering the classic burger with a milk shake. I opted just for a fudge sundae. “Well?” I asked after she had left.

“I don’t really care who you are with, as long as he treats you right, and you’re happy. That’s all I care about.”

“I’ll talk to him,” I smiled at him, before kissing him on the cheek and sliding back over into my own seat.





My internal alarm clock woke me up just before 8 AM and I crawled out of bed, feeling my whole body shiver. It was unusually cold in the house and I grabbed my robe off the back of my door and pulled it around my body. I headed downstairs to start the coffee like I did every morning. I had fallen into this comfortable ritual of cooking all three meals for Brooks while searching for a job. Brooks didn’t do much other than eat, workout and sleep. I was skeptical at first about how we would work living together, but it’s been perfect so far. I pulled the coffee down from the cabinet to find an envelope with my name on it, taped to the bag. I pulled it off and ripped it open. Inside was a check, made out to me, for an amount that was unfathomable.

“Morning,” Brooks mumbled from behind me and reached for the coffee pot, stopping when he noticed it was empty.

“What is this?” I asked holding the check up in the air.

“Your first paycheck.”

“What?”

“Coffee first, please? Then we can discuss.” I nodded my head and placed the check down and started the coffee. While it was brewing, I pulled out the typical breakfast food and began cooking. Once the bacon was sizzling I turned back around to see Brooks pouring himself a mug of coffee. “Explain. Please.” He sat down at the breakfast bar and leaned back, almost studying me.

“I told you I needed a cook. That’s what you’ve been doing, and I want you to keep doing it. I know you need money, but how are you supposed to cook for me when you have a job? So done deal, you’re hired, insurance and all.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

I fought back the smile that was curling at the corners of my mouth. “No interview?”

“Oh yeah about that. Do you know how to cook?”

I began to laugh, “yes.”

“Then you’re hired,” he smiled and I turned back to the bacon.

“It’s too much money though Brooks.”

“I took into consideration three things. How good your food is, your availability to me, and how much you mean to me. So actually I think you’re being underpaid, cause that third one would clear out my bank account. Just take it, no questions asked, alright?”

I groaned but didn’t say anything else, I just finished breakfast. After twenty minutes or so, I felt myself shiver again and held my robe even closer to my body. “Why is it so cold in here?”

“It’s not cold in here, it’s like seventy. Are you getting sick?”

“I don’t feel sick, I’m just freezing.” He walked up to me, stopping inches in front of me. I inhaled and could smell his soap on his skin, so fresh and so tempting. He placed the back of his hand on my forehead for a few seconds before pulling it away and grabbing my hand. He dragged me into the living room and pushed me down on the couch. “Lay down. Get comfy, I’ll be right back.” I pinched my eyebrows together but did what he said. He came back with a thermometer and poked it between my lips. I placed it under my tongue and waited looking up at him standing over me. He grabbed a blanket off his recliner and placed it over me, before sitting down on the couch next to my head. He ran his hand through my hair and I wanted to smile, but I held it inside. After I heard the beep, Brooks pulled the thermometer out of my mouth and looked at it. “102.5. Looks like I get to play nurse,” he grinned down on me.

I groaned pulling the blanket up to under my chin. “I hate being sick.”

“I know you do, but don’t worry, you have me.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead, my hand involuntarily went up to his buzzed hair. He pulled his lips away from my forehead, but kept his head in place, looking into my eyes. I kept my hand on the back of his head, frozen in place. Where were these feelings coming from? When had they developed? Why was I daydreaming about him? All of these questions were going through my mind as I continued to look into his eyes, mere inches from me. He leaned back down and kissed me on my cheek, nearly the corner of my mouth. “Get some sleep.”





I rolled over on the couch slowly. Each movement I made my body would scream at me to stop moving. I had managed to sleep the whole day and night on the couch, against Brooks’ protest to get me to bed. I wanted to stay in the living room just in case he needed something, I would be close by. I reached out to the coffee table and grabbed my cell phone. I had been awake for a hour or so, and so many things were going through my head, I knew I needed to call him.

The phone rang a few times, and just when I thought it was going to voicemail he answered. “Hey baby.”

“Hey Mike, what are you up to?”

“Just got back from the gym, you okay? You sound sick.”

“Yeah, I have the flu or something. Look, do you have a minute to talk?”

“Yeah, what’s on your mind babe?” I almost blurted out for him to stop calling me babe, but I just didn’t have the energy to snap at him. Not like I usually do.

“We need to talk about us. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“Okay. Well I know you just want to date, no titles, no responsibilities, just date. I am perfectly okay with that.”

I felt relieved, but then Brooks’ words popped back into my mind. “Are you sure you are okay with that? Because I don’t want this to turn into a big mess in a few weeks, or a few months.”

“Whatever you want, I’m perfectly okay with.”

“Okay good. I guess I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page, you know?”

“I know. Why don’t you get some sleep? I need you healthy when I come back to town.” I could see his smirk through the phone and I felt my whole body instantly heat up.

“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye Mike.”

“Bye Veronica.” After I hung up the phone and placed it back on the coffee table I sat up and looked over the back of the couch. Brooks was standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall. “Were you listening in on my conversation?”

“Of course I was,” he laughed as he walked into the living room and lifted my legs up off the couch, sitting down, and placing them over his lap. We held eye contact until I forced myself to look away. My body was doing that weird thing again. Even my calves were twitching from where they rested over his thighs. Those thighs. I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head, trying to shake the image of Brooks naked out of my eyes. “You okay?” He asked laughing, rubbing his hands up and down my legs. Why was he doing this to me?

“I just hate being sick.”